Coping With COVID Lockdowns

Coping With COVID Lockdowns

by | Jul 14, 2021 | Blog, Leadership, Life Lessons

Coping With COVID Lockdowns

Getting another COVID test this morning and realising my birthday will not be the celebration I had intended brings with it more grief and confusion.  I realise that coping with COVID lockdowns takes a toll on my mental health and finding ways to get some of my routine back is important to me.

We are constantly being told by our government and health officials to be scared of being in contact with people.  Watch the updates. Be informed of hot spots.  Know what you are allowed to do.  (and this changes each day) This is not great for my anxiety and overall wellbeing. I have also noticed these news updates are not great for those around me either, somehow this lockdown seems even harder than the first.   I have had so many conversations with friends and colleagues, so confused and frustrated with the ongoing nature of the lockdowns.  The recurring theme of the conversations continues to come back to when will there be a priority on the general mental health and wellbeing of our population.  With mental health issues on the rise so many of us now know people not doing so well.

As a positive outcome, I guess we are now talking about our own mental health more openly.  Maybe sharing this might allow someone else to talk about how they are coping too.

Changing Plans

Outside of a COVID Pandemic I live an incredibly busy life and constantly juggling time commitments is something I am use to.  However being able to make plans and undo them constantly it is hard not to feel defeated.  The “why bother”.

I thought given we had no community transmissions for some time I was going to have a party.  Stop taking myself seriously and have some fun.  I was encouraged on by my ever faithful husband and simply, why not!  I have been gearing up to have a big birthday bash that I have spent late nights and weeks in the planning.  Invites have gone out and decorations ordered, internationals friends flying in and accommodation organised.  Its all now cancelled.  I feel gutted for all my friends and family who cancelled other important events in their lives to come and celebrate a milestone birthday with me.

Learning how to cope

My issue is, I try cope in all the wrong ways I get serious and try to control stuff I have absolutely no control over.  I tend to get incredibly busy with work and not spending enough time with my horses.  I instinctively fill my time so that I don’t have to listen to my self-talk.  This strategy is so short term, in the end it makes me feel worse.  What I have learned is that if I slow down and spend more time with my horses I am always stronger mentally.  It seems that this is a lesson I keep having to learn.

Managing People

As I try to find ways to navigate our organisation through COVID Pandemic with rules that are constantly changing, lockdowns and back out again, our team is looking at me for leadership.  I am trying to build routine to create certainty and comfort for my team, the task almost seems impossible.  As a people leader you are meant to be able to cope better than most and that is probably true but my routines are constantly changing.  So what can be done?  Well in trying to find some helpful resources and tips for myself and my team I came across some of these.

 

Finding routines, staying connected, eating well, and getting exercise.

Try not to judge others as you cannot control their response. 

Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have available to them.  Everybody has a story and emotional triggers, as we go through the COVID pandemic we can only try and use our own coping mechanisms.

Fear and anxiety

Fear and anxiety are the most common reactions, as we move through the pandemic and our health authorities, media are all continuing to provide messages that play into our fear responses.   It is important to understand that fear and anxiety are a normal going in and out of lockdowns.  But it all requires emotional energy.

Manage to find some small wins.  They will be there if you look for them. And write down your accomplishments.

Here are some more tips I got from Mental Health Foundation in UK 

Tips on coping with fear and anxiety

Control what can be controlled – there are a lot of things you can’t control that cause you fear and anxiety – but there are some things you can manage or plan for. Having an action plan for managing things you might find difficult can help.
Pace yourself – recognising that you need to go at the right pace for you is important. Don’t let others bully or pressure you into doing things you don’t want to – but try not to let that be an excuse not to push yourself, especially when it comes to reconnecting with friends safely, outside your home, when rules allow and the time is also right for you.
Build up tolerance – try doing something that challenges you every day, or every few days. Don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t go well but keep at it. Keep a note of things you’ve achieved, enjoyed or surprised yourself doing.
Vary your routines – try and vary your routines so that you see different people and encounter different situations. If one supermarket makes you nervous, try another. If a walk at one time of the day is very busy, try mixing walks at busy times with walks at quieter times.
Talk to work – Many workplaces are allowing more flexible working even if people need to return. If you are finding it hard to get to work, or do particular shifts or activities because of anxiety or fear, speak to your manager or a colleague you trust if that feels right. If you have or have had longer term mental health problems, you may be entitled to reasonable adjustments.

Coping with uncertainty

Focus on the present – you can only do your best with what you have today. With regulations changing frequently, and lots of conflicting media discussions, try and keep a focus on the moment. Mindfulness meditation is one way of bringing your mind back to the present moment.

Bring things that are certain back into focus – whilst a lot of things are uncertain at the moment, there are also things to be hopeful about. Try to record and appreciate good things as they happen. Try and take opportunities to reset and relax.

Talk to people you trust – it’s important to talk about how you feel. Don’t dismiss your concerns or judge yourself too harshly. You may also be able to find your tribe online, but try and get outside perspectives too.

Changes I am making

I have realised I need to fit my own oxygen mask.  I need to schedule more time to be with my horses.  They provide the emotional regulation and exercise that I need to be at my best.  I understand the importance that they have for my balance.  It is my self care so I can help others.

I See You A Beautiful Life Lesson

I See You A Beautiful Life Lesson

by | Jul 12, 2021 | Blog, Life Lessons

“I See You” a beautiful life lesson. It’s from the Avatar movie.

In the movie Avatar to greet someone with “I see you” was an expression of greeting with an open heart and an open mind to be in the present moment. I see you physically and spiritually.

When you really see someone, you see all of them. You see their love, you see their soul, you acknowledge them in their entirety. I wonder if in our crazy world if we started trying to greet people with “I see you” how different it would be.

When you find someone special in your life and they stop and look at you when they really see you. You know, you are being seen, you can feel it.

I am going to make an effort to stop, especially now, and really see people I know and love.  Being really open in the moment to see who is in front of you.

  • How is their presence making you feel?
  • What do they look like? Are they well presented or look like they have just gotten out of bed?
  • How is their energy presenting at that moment? Are they calm or are they fidgeting?
  • Do they look or sound tired or excited?
  • Are they smiling but making you feel sad?
  • How is the tone in the voice?
  • How is their stance or their body language and what is that saying to you?

When you ask yourself questions about the person and the presence in front of you, your curiosity helps you.

Paying attention to all the details will help you be present and really be able to say “I see you”, a beautiful life lesson.

I wonder if you can spend a minute or two and say “I see you” to someone special and see what it feels like.

I dare you to try.
#emotionalintelligence #idareyou #iseeyou #beinthemoment

5 Tips for Successful Affirmations

5 Tips for Successful Affirmations

by | Jul 11, 2021 | Blog, emotional intelligence, Life Lessons

5 Tips for Successful Affirmations

Here are five tips for successful affirmations that can take you to the next level.  Affirmations can be an incredibly powerful tool to help you manifest all your desires. However, if they aren’t done correctly, they can be a complete waste of time. The key to finding success with your positive affirmations is to have an unshakeable confidence that what you are stating will happen.

Tip #1 – Be Specific

The more detail you can include in your positive affirmations the more real it will become, and the more believable it is. Just like when you are setting your goals, you need to inform your Reticular Activating System what it is you want to achieve. You need to aim to be as specific as possible. When you can be specific with your affirmations, they can provide you with the motivation and opportunity to get everything you desire.

Tip #2 – Use Active Visualization

It isn’t enough to merely read your affirmations off of a card and then quickly move onto the next one. You have to visualize the affirmations. You have to read each affirmation and then spend a few minutes imagining what it will be like when the statement is achieved. Think about what you will see, what you will hear, what smells you’ll experience, and what feelings you’ll have about the achievement.

Tip #3 – Utilize Audio Motivation

Music can be a potent tool to use with your affirmations. When you read your affirmations, consider listening to some motivational, stirring, or upbeat music. Listening to music can help to stir up the feelings inside you. It is your feelings that generate the internal vibrations that will ultimately move you closer to your desires.

Tip #4 – Use Images

Take the time to overlay your affirmations over some appropriate background pictures. If you aren’t skilled in Photoshop, you can just look at relevant images after you’ve read your statements out loud. When you look at images that are congruent with your affirmations, it will generate some excitement. This excitement will get your vibrating in a positive way that will help you attract your desired outcome.

Tip #5 – Believe That They’ve Already Been Achieved

You always want to state your affirmations in the present tense. For example, instead of saying, “I will lose weight by the end of the month,” say “I’ve reached my ideal weight with ease.” With the Law of Attraction if you say “I want to lose weight,” it hears the words “I want” and will leave you in a constant state of wanting.

Affirmations can work for you when done correctly. Consider these tips when you’re creating your affirmations to be successful and manifest all your life’s desires.

 

How to Create Positive Affirmations

How to Create Positive Affirmations

by | Jul 11, 2021 | Blog, emotional intelligence, Life Lessons

How to Create Positive Affirmations

Here’s how to create positive affirmations that you can believe in and achieve all your life’s greatest desires.  Whether you believe it or not, you can attract anything in your life that you give attention to, because like attracts like. Positive affirmations are a powerful tool that can make the opposite happen. By believing in a thought or sentence and repeating it to yourself regularly, you have the power to attract more positivity to your life.

Your words are incredibly powerful, and when done correctly, positive affirmations can be an impactful tool that will help you find the power to accomplish things that you didn’t think was possible. However, they only work if you believe them.

Identify What You Want

To get started writing a positive affirmation for your life, you have to think about what you really want. Think about what would make your life happier and write those thoughts down. The essential part of creating positive affirmations is ensuring that you are completely clear about what you want without worrying about the when or the how.

List the Attributes You’ll Need

When you’ve identified what you want, the next step is determining the attributes that you’ll need to achieve your goal. You should list between four and six things. You attributes are the things that you need to be, rather than the things that you need to do. Once you’ve written these out, circle a few that you believe to be the most essential attributes that you will need to embody to reach your goal.

Write Your Affirmation

Once you have your desires and attributes written down, it’s time to create your affirmation. You want to create a statement that is between one and two sentences, and that states the goal and attributes in a positive and empowering way. This can be challenging, so you should write down some ideas as they come to you and repeat them out loud.

Practice Your New Affirmation

Now that you’ve created an affirmation, it’s time to practice it and repeat it often. You want to be sure to repeat your affirmations every day. To help you remember to say your statements you set a reminder on your phone, you can set your phone’s background to a picture of your affirmation, so you see it every time you use your phone, or you can put them on Post-Its and place them around your home or office. Do whatever works for you.

Affirmations are incredibly helpful in helping you achieve your desires as long as you do them correctly. You have the power to use your mind to create the future you desire.

Horses Have Healing Powers?

Horses Have Healing Powers?

by | Apr 1, 2021 | Blog, Equine Assisted, Life Lessons

Why Horses Have Healing Powers?

I wonder why, horses have healing powers? My logical and rationale part of my continues to diminish the unarguable results. I have personally experienced their healing powers. Today was another one of those days.

Maybe it’s got nothing to do with the horses, maybe it’s just me?

  • Is it being outside in the fresh air?
  • Could it be simply being present and aware?
  • Maybe it’s the exercise?
  • Is it some chemicals released?
    • Endorphins – a happiness hormones.
    • Dopamine – a satisfied hormone
    • Oxytocin – a relationships hormone.

You may have heard that horses are incredibly spiritual and can sense things way beyond our understanding. I see it with my own eyes and yet I continue to try and rationalise it as something else. It cannot possible be true.

Today I Am Broken

Today I feel like I experienced a miracle, I experienced the healing power of horses. I have had a day off because work has been crazy.  Working incredibly long hours, weekends and managing tricky issues and I am not feeling great. Actually I am broken.

Well I have been unwell like I haven’t been in a very long time. Pain riddled throughout my body, my gut can’t decide if I am bloated, constipated or have diarrhoea. My back is cramping and nerve pain all down my legs. Also my joints just have a deep ache and a migraine to boot. I don’t want to move. My body is so fatigued that I am dizzy and just want to sleep but I am so over tired. I can’t even carry a whole sentence though.

Now as I am writing this it is late in the day and I am hot, sweaty, dirty looking like something the cat dragged in, but I am feeling so good. I have just simply spent time with my horses. This morning I stumbled down the back of our place to the stables. I needed to feed everyone and let them out.

We had a horse not doing so great so thought I needed to spend some time down in the paddock checking up on him. So I just hung out with my herd they were so serene this morning it was a little magical. The birds were chirping, beautiful sunshine and a slight breeze. Just a picture perfect day.

 

My Mood Lifts

I began to feel my mood lift just being with them. So much so I went up to the house to get some stuff done. Which ended in complete frustration as everything wasn’t going to plan. Even my coffee machine wasn’t working properly.

It was then that I started to become aware that I am feeling a little bit better than I was this morning. I hadn’t ridden any horses or spent anytime with them in more than two weeks. So why not grab one and go for a little ride. Let’s just work with one of them.

With my halter in hand I am walking towards my horses and thought whoever comes over to say hello, is who I will ride. Well my baby giant Duke never disappoints he is very quick to come and say hello. He always brings a smile to my face as he is always happy to see me.

Well I saddle him up and knowing I am not fully functional I am just going to do a short session in the round yard and go back to some basics. He was so good trying so hard that I didn’t want it to finish.

Feeling better

Now I am feeling even better and think well I may as well ride Pippi too. She too was amazing and trying so hard for me. Before we saddle up she is in my face needing to be hugged. Pippi is such an affectionate mare that her happy place is one with cuddles and pats. She just wants to be with me and really wants me to connect with her. Pippi is incredible at insisting you be present and making sure you breathe.

So why not do some ground work with a third horse because I am on a roll. Well little shy BJ (the new guy) had a break through too and just wanted to hang with me.  So ridiculously cute! 

When you can connect with one horse you can feel it in your gut and heart. Anyone who has felt it, knows it is something incredibly spiritual. I don’t have all the language to explain it but there is magic in that moment. Reflecting that all three gave me a deep level of connection today, they somehow knew I needed it.

Well now I am hot and sweaty but I am feeling so much better and I put it down to the healing power of horses. I don’t know how they do it but I do know it happens.

What ever the reason is it continues to work. I have seen it work on others too. “It’s my happy place” or “where I am relaxed” or “where I get my energy back” whatever their feelings are it’s always a place of wellness or well-being.

I know, I still find it hard to believe that a horse can make you feel better than anything I have in my medicine cabinet. However I am living proof that horses have healing powers.