Why are some people happy all of the time? The happiest people have habits that raise the odds of feeling happy. Unhappy people have habits that result in less desirable feelings. It can be that simple. If you’re not as happy as you’d like, take a look at your habits.
Those that are happy share many qualities. Adopting these same qualities will yield positive results.
Habits that lead to happiness are enjoyable to implement:
Obviously, if you believe good things will happen, it’s much more likely that you’ll be happy. Expecting the worst does nothing to improve your mood! Realistically, it’s not even important to expect a positive outcome, only to believe that everything will be okay.
Optimism is also a form of belief in yourself. If you believe that you can handle any outcome, you can be optimistic and have the mental freedom to be happy.
Doing things for others provides multiple benefits. You can see firsthand that you have a lot to be grateful for. You can feel good about yourself for assisting others. You have a good reason to get out of the house. You also feel useful.
Make a list of at least three ways you can help others that will also fit into your schedule.
Do you realize how many great things and people you already have in your life? By maintaining focus on the things you don’t have, you’re making yourself unhappy. Experiencing gratitude helps to create feelings of happiness.
An exciting future.Maximum happiness requires that you have something to look forward to. It can be graduating from college, having a baby, retirement, a vacation, or a hot date on Saturday night. Have a few goals that give you a reason to be excited. Have goals that are both short-term and long-term.
Spend some time doing things that you’re good at. It feels good to do well at something. It doesn’t have to be a competitive event. You can hit golf balls at the range or play the guitar and feel great about yourself.
Make of list of the things you excel at and try to spend at least a little time each day doing one of them.
It’s impossible to avoid challenging times. Sooner or later, something will happen that threatens your progress, success, or happiness. Resilience is the ability to continue forging ahead. Some people have a knack for making obstacles seem bigger than they really are. Others are able to maintain their composure and continue making progress.
Reasonable expectations.When your expectations are overly optimistic, you’ll routinely experience disappointment. When your expectations are consistently low, you won’t feel very optimistic. Neither is a recipe for happiness.
How can you be happy while holding a grudge? Forgiving others quickly and easily make happiness possible. You might feel that some people don’t deserve forgiveness, but what is the alternative? Making yourself unhappy.
Spending your time pretending to be something you’re not is a challenge to your self-esteem. Happiness is allusive if you don’t feel comfortable being yourself. Allow your uniqueness to show.
Thinking about the past leads to regret. Thoughts of the future lead to anxiety. Keep your mind in the present if you want to experience happiness on a regular basis.
There’s nothing complicated about happiness. Forgive others, be yourself, give of yourself, and be grateful for the things and people you already have. Having an effective set of habits will result in feeling more happiness.
I am so incredibly grateful that I found out how my ponies can change lives, its in these life changing moments that I see how easy it can be. I have had the opportunity to work with senior leaders, women and vulnerable young people. Regardless of their story, simply, how life changing this can be. I have had such powerful conversations that I just don’t know where or how else you can do that. After meeting someone for 5 mins you can then have life changing conversations. One such moment was talking with a young man with autism and behavioral issues, he decided rather than being violent when you are frustrated try talking calmly. My horse showed him the way. It was an aha moment for him. Which then led to another conversation about how to have respect for his family and belongings.
An incredibly shy young woman about how to engage with people and make new friends. A senior leader learning how to breath and stay calm under highly stressful situations. A young woman learning how to hold herself to be confident and assertive without dominance in difficult situations.
I realise that these are just small moments in a life time but they are profound. It just melts my heart.
It doesn’t matter your story or where you are this works.
Your Beliefs Shape Your Life So You Better Choose Them Wisely.
A lot of people think that their beliefs are like clothes. They really don’t have much choice in the matter. They just walk up to their closet, pick out what’s there, wear it, and move on to the next set of clothes the next day.
If that is you, your attitude towards your beliefs could be limiting your life. It would come as no surprise that you are not living your life to your fullest potential. Whether this means enjoying the best job, making the most money in your field, enjoying the best relationships, or looking physically fit, beliefs play a major role in your life. No matter how clueless you are about its role, beliefs will continue to remain important in your life.
Where Do Beliefs Draw Their Power?
Beliefs are like glasses. Depending on the grade of your glasses, the world may look crystal clear or it may look very fuzzy and you might even have a nasty headache when using glasses that have the wrong grade.
Beliefs work the same way. When you perceive reality, and I’m talking about the things that you can see, hear, touch, taste, and smell, they have to be filtered by something in your head. This is called your belief system. It’s your lens, through which you look at the world. So many things can change your lens, your past, trauma, culture all influence your beliefs.
When you filter this information, you give it meaning. You give it color. You give it a certain slant or angle. What do you think happens next? Your analysis of the things that you choose to perceive impacts the things you say, the things you do, and the things you feel about yourself and the rest of the world.
In other words, this is important stuff but the problem is a lot of people think that since they think a certain way that this is reality. They confuse objective reality, which everyone could agree with, with their own subjective take on the things that they perceive.
Also, other people excuse their own warped way of perceiving reality by saying that that’s just who they are or it’s part of their personality. How dare people question them!
Beliefs are chosen. Just as you can choose your clothes, you can choose your beliefs. I’m not saying that it’s easy. After all, beliefs do become habitual after a while. You don’t hang onto a belief system because it is just flat-out wrong and harms you. There’s something about the belief system that you have chosen that gives you enough benefits for it to be worth hanging onto.
Limiting Beliefs
It’s like wearing really raggedy shoes. You probably have really old shoes in your home. They look nasty and they could even smell like a rat died in them but, for whatever reason, you like wearing those shoes because they’re comfortable. You know that they don’t look the best; they don’t perform all that well but you prefer their comfort. They do well enough and serve you well enough so you keep them around and you use them day to day.
The same applies to your beliefs. There are many belief systems that have simply outlived their purpose or usefulness. It’s important for us to take a long, hard look at our beliefs and ask ourselves some hard questions. Otherwise, we will be living far below our potential. We would continue to look at reality with tools that really don’t serve us. That’s a tragedy.
When you become aware of your beliefs and are conscious of your lens you are looking at the world through you have a chance to change them. Emotional Intelligence could be a way to change your limiting beliefs that shape your life.
Working with my horses improves my own personal wellness. I have known for a while that horses have something very magical to offer. I often feel so much better after spending time with my horses. It is hard to articulate the magic. I can be tired, sick or just blah, and after spending time with my horses I have more energy and I am so much happier. Even my patient and adoring husband will send me down to ride if I am getting a little grumpy. When I was recently reading an article talking about the power and efficacy of equine assisted therapy. I realised there is a growing body of evidence and science behind it. It’s not just me! Horses have unique traits that mean that they are perfect choice for animal assisted therapies.
Wellness
Working on trust, learning to trust a horse might be the first step in healing trauma. It is powerful and restorative especially for those who trusting others is an issue.
Mindfulnessis probably the biggest shift because horses are very sensitive they will easily reflect feelings and people often experience is as a biofeedback loop. Making it easier to understand their own emotional state.
When in a non-competitive, non-judgemental environment learning new skills and new challenges horses will assist with improving self-esteem and Leadership.
Behavioural modification or self-regulation because in order to communicate with a horse you need to find your calm nonreactive state.
Experiencing challenges with horses empowers individuals and creates self-motivation and positive experiences.
Relationship Management where the experience of developing acceptance and communication with a horse where you need to actively listen to them. Once they feel seen and heard they will respond. The basis of healthy relationships. Learning how to influence others.
Learning to communicateacross language (and species) barriers especially with something as large as a horse, promotes intuition. Improves all your nonverbal communication and understanding of how much you can communicate with intent and body language.
Team work and social skills in a group dynamic leadership and team work are critical pieces.
Intention and personal assertivenessalongside our own boundaries.
I have seen firsthand anxietyreduction, and decrease in depressionand isolation, horses don’t judge and unconditional acceptance.
These are all incredible life skills and skills that are being well researched in the equine assisted learning fields. I have known that these animals were amazing and magical but I continue to learn.
Therapeutic Value
Their therapeutic value is so undervalued. Trauma therapists are starting to realise their value too. As talking therapy in trauma related counselling can get someone to experience their trauma. This can slow down healing process. Some are turning to animal assisted therapies to use nonverbal experiences to process and externalise. This then allows individuals to move through to healing. Horses have been used to help anxiety, depression, ADHD, conduct disorders, addiction, dementia, returning veterans, PTSD, and other mental health difficulties. Even used for physical therapies.
I obviously realise my horses are magical, but it is more than magic there is science. The real magic happens when you understand how to read a horse and what they are trying to communicate with you, your world shifts. You feel more connected and get a greater insight into yourself. Having managed people for over 20 years I really appreciate how important these life skills are. Horses can transfer these skills to people and we are now just starting to figure this out. All of these life skills are part of my emotional intelligence and leadership sessions (not just therapy) so it makes sense that we should learn to be a better person from a horse.
