Here are the top 5 ways to boost your emotional intelligence in order to find success. If you want to succeed in both your professional and personal life, there are a broad range of skills that can help. However, the emerging research is emotional intelligence is the most important skill you need to develop. Your vision and fresh and creative ideas are critical aspects of success. Leadership requires a number of human skills as well as technical skills for success.
Great leaders make themselves and their personal improvement a lifelong project. They actively seek out learning. They also seek out people who will tell them the truth about how they come across to others. In addition, tell them areas where they can make improvements. They look for organizations that will accommodate them or spend money on a coach who will provide them with honest feedback. Great leaders recognize that they are a work in progress and are always looking for ways to improve.
Develop Your Listening Skills
Good leaders are always aware of how essential listening skills are for success. They recognize that everyone has the desire to be heard. Not only do you receive more crucial information when you develop your listening skills, but you are better able to connect with others by picking up meanings and messages through nonverbal cues.
Show a Genuine Interest in Others
Not only do emotionally intelligent people learn the names of everyone that works at their company, but they also make it a point to find out as much about others as possible. They strive to find out what matters to them, whether it is their family, special interests, or hobbies. Showing a personal interest in those around you show others that they are valued as people, rather than just cogs in the machine.
Develop Your Ability to Manage Emotions
Developing your ability to manage not only yours but others’ emotions is an important skill to have. Leaders that possess high emotional intelligence can process information and respond only after they’ve thought about the situation. Emotionally intelligent people can pick up the underlying feelings behind the words spoken.
Develop a Strong Sense of Appreciation
Great leaders, with high emotional intelligence, are always appreciative and aware that they have others to thank for them to where they are. One way you can develop more gratitude is to keep a gratitude journal and write down three things you are grateful for every day. It helps to maintain a positive attitude and their motivation high throughout the day.
High emotional intelligence is an essential aspect of success. Incorporate these five tips into your life and you can help boost your emotional intelligence.
Leadership is not a title you can assign to someone. It’s a set of skills that you develop over time and use in different situations. A lot of people think that leadership is about making others do what they want, but it’s not. Leadership is actually about making others feel like doing what you want them to do – by showing them why it’s important.
Leadership is the quality of influencing, inspiring or motivating people to achieve a shared goal. This definition seems simple enough, but what does it really mean to be a good leader?
Leaders inspire others to follow and provide an environment to be their best. Sounds simple but it is one of the hardest things to accomplish. A strong leader will also have the ability to execute strategy while motivating employees at all levels of an organisation or group. Leadership is not an easy job, so being able to develop trust with your team will prove invaluable on your journey towards building a successful team.
What Makes a Good Leader?
Some people are born leaders, but not all of us. Leadership is a learned skill, and the ability to become a leader depends on your attitude and actions. It also depends on your choices – yes, you have choices as a leader.
If you’re willing to learn what makes a good leader, consider these 8 tips:
Focus on yourself first. As a new leader or manager of others, it’s easy to rush into building rapport with those that report to you. A common trap is to try to be a people pleaser. I have seen this happen so many times where leaders try to be friends with their team and colleagues.
Improve your emotional intelligence and be aware of your strengths and weakness. You need to understand the space you are good in and when you need support from others. This is critical when you looked to for supporting and communicating with others
Be prepared to have someone you trust to debrief and confide with as you learn and grow (a coach or mentor)
When leading teams you need to find out what is important to them. You need to have empathy and care about what are their goals and ambitions are.
The most effective leaders are those who inspire others to go above and beyond their own expectations.
A good leader must be willing to lead from the front, not from behind.
He or she must know how to adapt as situations change, and make decisions with conviction in order to ensure success for everyone involved.
Be prepared to make mistakes… So many mistakes, but simply learn from them.
Leadership Learning From a Horse?
I’ve learned some valuable leadership lessons from training horses. I believe I have learnt more about being a leader and about myself from my horses than anyone else. This is a hard concept to believe but it is true. Having a horse that is so highly attuned to your emotions is quite a confronting experience. You see I was a highly anxious person, so many things would make me angry, nervous or just want to run away and hide. It is not a great way to live and the consequences for it are your health and damaging important relationships. Also, it doesnt make for a great leader!
Controlling Your Emotions
Having a horse that is a nervous anxious horse is not a fun experience and so I needed to learn how to be calm-assertive. This has taken years of hard work on myself, many mistakes but trying to seek out the answer. What I discovered also makes you a better leader. The calm assertive leader is what a horse needs but it is also what your team needs.
I have learned to lean into fear rather than run away. Not knowing how to manage or deal with a horse is scary and intimidating, however when you understand that they are seeking a calm assertive leader and they will follow. They need you to be brave and decisive when they are in fear. So too do your team. This is essential when you are in a leadership role and you will always have an element of fear when you need to make decisions that have no clear answer.
Horses have taught me to experiment and play. Because they always give you honest and immediate feedback it’s easy to find where you are at your best. If you are too stern they say no, if you are too soft they say no, if you are not your being authentic they say no. I horse will find comfort when you lead in your own way. This has helped me understand how to interact with different team members differently too.
Learning As a Leader
Learning to embrace learning, and embrace the learning experience. I love learning new things and constantly seeking answers or a new way to approach a problem. There is a place of being curious and open is where the magic happens. You need to find comfort in the awkward learning as will never have all the answers but if you are open to learning you can always find a way to stretch yourself and your team. Trying to keep growing to allow your team the space to improve and grow as well. Horses have made me incredibly curious as the more you understand, the more you want to know. They have opened doors to understand people.
People and Teams Are Different
You have to adjust how you manage people differently. Different people are motivated by different things and the way you manage one person may not get the best out of someone else. Being directive with tasks and steps for one person gets them motivated as they love a list and love a step by step guide. They need to know they are doing a good job because the instructions were clear and they want to follow them to the letter. Trying to manage a creative like that will get the worst out of them. Giving them exact lists and step by step instructions doesn’t allow for any creativity in how to do get a job done. They want to understand the job and then let them go away and get the job done. Well, I had my aha moment managing horses. I have a horse who needs very clear instructions and he will do as he is told, however, I also have a highly emotional mare who needs you to feel an emotional connection before you ask for anything. I am sure we have all had team members like this. One is all business and leaves their personal issues at the door, the other needs to know about your family and the weekend before you can talk about work.
Self Awareness
As a leader you can “fake it till you make it” but with a horse, you cannot lie. I have found a way to be more authentic with all my flaws and get more comfortable with who I am. This space is so much better to lead from.
You Can Be a Great Leader Too
If you don’t have access to a horse and a great trainer to learn how to lead. Focus on being your best version of yourself, and being honest with yourself. The other thing that I would say is to embrace the fear and love the learning.
I recently had the joy of listening to Shane Fitzsimmons Commissioner of Resilience NSW give a talk recently. And I have a small confession I am a fan! During his talk, he had a brilliant analogy for leadership and for your teams which I thought was incredibly relatable. Flat tyres are like leadership.
Your underperforming staff are like a flat tyre and sometimes your flat tyre just needs to be pumped up. It’s lost some pressure but nothing is fundamentally wrong with the tyre it just needs some air. Or your tyre has a puncture, but it is fixable it needs a patch and to be pumped up and can be refitted back on. But sometimes your tyre has blown out and simply just needs to be replaced.
When he explained this a bit further the flat tyre also can have different consequences. A flat tyre if you are on a unicycle, is different to a flat tyre on the front wheel of a fully laden passenger bus.
What does this mean for your leadership you need to respond to your underperforming staff like flat tyres. Sometimes you need to decide if they simply need a pump up or are they a complete blowout on a fully laden school bus. You as the leader need to respond to your underperforming team the same way as a flat tyre. Who needs a pump and who needs to be replaced because they are dangerous. I was thinking about the stressors of COVID and teams. I know there are a lot of leaders at the moment who are pumping up tyres. I am wondering how many leaders in workplaces are trying to pump up tyres that just need to be replaced. During this time when teams are remote, it is like having a faulty pressure gauge. it is harder to get clarity and focus on which of your tyres are flat.
Shane is a cool calm leader who was brilliant during the black summer bush fires of 2019-2020. I tuned in on a daily basis to listen to his updates as it was something that affected me and my family. We had a fire front near our house for months.
He was plain speaking, direct about when we needed to be concerned, gave the facts. But he also cared. I think that many of our modern leaders could learn how to manage a crisis from Shane Fitzsimmons. His authenticity and empathy were genuine and this was his part of his advice, show up, show you care and be authentic.
His talk on community engagement and leadership just made me admire the man even more.
Have you ever experienced a sound or smell that transports you to a different time and place in your life? Well, that moment happened to me today.
I have horses with colds at the moment. I don’t know how, but one of them got a cold and now they all have it. It feels a little bit like when your child brings home those disgusting germs from school or daycare and then spreads to everyone.
So I am mixing up my horse feeds with every supplement that could possibly make them better at dinner time. No one is really enjoying the “fancy and expensive stuff” in their food and not eating it.
Ahh. But I have a solution molasses! Horses love it and it disguises all the yucky stuff.
Well, this is when I was immediately transported to a different time and place in my life. I opened the tin of molasses and the smell made my grandmother appear right with me, to a time and a place when I was a very young girl bringing back to life such fond memories.
I am about 6 years old standing in her small country kitchen. She was telling me I needed to have a teaspoon of molasses because it was good for me. My grandmother used to swear by it. Everyone, man and beast would be given molasses regardless of whether they needed it or not.
The smell made me smile and reminds me of a time place and moment that was special to me.
My grandmother passed away earlier this year and this smell reminded me of the power of those small moments that make life so memorable.
I wonder if this has happened to you? Remember your loved ones will remember those small mundane moments just as much as big grand gestures. It’s reminded me to create a memory worth remembering.
Dani Lombard, is an amazing leader. This Leadership Whisperer Podcast episode was fun and a little embarrassing for me, Dani has put the challenge out of her interviewing me. So stay tuned for the next episode.
Dani is full of insights and very different from some of our previous guests. If you are interested in understanding what it takes to be an entrepreneur and still smile at the end of the day this is one episode you are not going to want to miss. She is an international PR veteran with over 20 years of experience in running campaigns and making brands shine.
Dani is an incredible entrepreneur, starting her own PR agency Dani Lombard Public Relations when she was just 28. Since then, her company merged with a Melbourne agency, taking on the same name – Soda Communications.
Running her own agency, she has learned a lot about running a business and motivating teams.
What is Dani’s insight into what is leadership?
Good leaders care.
Leadership is hard to describe but you know when see it and you feel it when you are around a good leader. Behaving and acting in way that inspires the people around you to be better. In addition it is some one who is good at creating a strong community.
You will want to listen to this episode to find out more about what Dani thinks about leadership. Shares her personal stories about meeting Richard Branson. She shares her vulnerability in talking about managing people and the reality of how hard it actually is, and it is an ongoing challenge.
What it is like to be a woman in leadership and the trap of falling into feeling like you need to appear powerful adopting those masculine traits.
In this interview, she also talks about not taking yourself too seriously.
Dani’s recommended reading list
Culture Fix , How to create a great place to work, by Colin D Ellis
