Life Changing Moments

Life Changing Moments

Life Changing Moments

I am so incredibly grateful that I found out how my ponies can change lives, its in these life changing moments that I see how easy it can be. I have had the opportunity to work with senior leaders, women and vulnerable young people. Regardless of their story, simply, how life changing this can be. I have had such powerful conversations that I just don’t know where or how else you can do that. After meeting someone for 5 mins you can then have life changing conversations. One such moment was talking with a young man with autism and behavioral issues, he decided rather than being violent when you are frustrated try talking calmly. My horse showed him the way. It was an aha moment for him. Which then led to another conversation about how to have respect for his family and belongings.

An incredibly shy young woman about how to engage with people and make new friends. A senior leader learning how to breath and stay calm under highly stressful situations.  A young woman learning how to hold herself to be confident and assertive without dominance in difficult situations.

I realise that these are just small moments in a life time but they are profound. It just melts my heart.

It doesn’t matter your story or where you are this works.

Horses Have Healing Powers?

Horses Have Healing Powers?

Why Horses Have Healing Powers?

I wonder why, horses have healing powers? My logical and rationale part of my continues to diminish the unarguable results. I have personally experienced their healing powers. Today was another one of those days.

Maybe it’s got nothing to do with the horses, maybe it’s just me?

  • Is it being outside in the fresh air?
  • Could it be simply being present and aware?
  • Maybe it’s the exercise?
  • Is it some chemicals released?
    • Endorphins – a happiness hormones.
    • Dopamine – a satisfied hormone
    • Oxytocin – a relationships hormone.

You may have heard that horses are incredibly spiritual and can sense things way beyond our understanding. I see it with my own eyes and yet I continue to try and rationalise it as something else. It cannot possible be true.

Today I Am Broken

Today I feel like I experienced a miracle, I experienced the healing power of horses. I have had a day off because work has been crazy.  Working incredibly long hours, weekends and managing tricky issues and I am not feeling great. Actually I am broken.

Well I have been unwell like I haven’t been in a very long time. Pain riddled throughout my body, my gut can’t decide if I am bloated, constipated or have diarrhoea. My back is cramping and nerve pain all down my legs. Also my joints just have a deep ache and a migraine to boot. I don’t want to move. My body is so fatigued that I am dizzy and just want to sleep but I am so over tired. I can’t even carry a whole sentence though.

Now as I am writing this it is late in the day and I am hot, sweaty, dirty looking like something the cat dragged in, but I am feeling so good. I have just simply spent time with my horses. This morning I stumbled down the back of our place to the stables. I needed to feed everyone and let them out.

We had a horse not doing so great so thought I needed to spend some time down in the paddock checking up on him. So I just hung out with my herd they were so serene this morning it was a little magical. The birds were chirping, beautiful sunshine and a slight breeze. Just a picture perfect day.

 

My Mood Lifts

I began to feel my mood lift just being with them. So much so I went up to the house to get some stuff done. Which ended in complete frustration as everything wasn’t going to plan. Even my coffee machine wasn’t working properly.

It was then that I started to become aware that I am feeling a little bit better than I was this morning. I hadn’t ridden any horses or spent anytime with them in more than two weeks. So why not grab one and go for a little ride. Let’s just work with one of them.

With my halter in hand I am walking towards my horses and thought whoever comes over to say hello, is who I will ride. Well my baby giant Duke never disappoints he is very quick to come and say hello. He always brings a smile to my face as he is always happy to see me.

Well I saddle him up and knowing I am not fully functional I am just going to do a short session in the round yard and go back to some basics. He was so good trying so hard that I didn’t want it to finish.

Feeling better

Now I am feeling even better and think well I may as well ride Pippi too. She too was amazing and trying so hard for me. Before we saddle up she is in my face needing to be hugged. Pippi is such an affectionate mare that her happy place is one with cuddles and pats. She just wants to be with me and really wants me to connect with her. Pippi is incredible at insisting you be present and making sure you breathe.

So why not do some ground work with a third horse because I am on a roll. Well little shy BJ (the new guy) had a break through too and just wanted to hang with me.  So ridiculously cute! 

When you can connect with one horse you can feel it in your gut and heart. Anyone who has felt it, knows it is something incredibly spiritual. I don’t have all the language to explain it but there is magic in that moment. Reflecting that all three gave me a deep level of connection today, they somehow knew I needed it.

Well now I am hot and sweaty but I am feeling so much better and I put it down to the healing power of horses. I don’t know how they do it but I do know it happens.

What ever the reason is it continues to work. I have seen it work on others too. “It’s my happy place” or “where I am relaxed” or “where I get my energy back” whatever their feelings are it’s always a place of wellness or well-being.

I know, I still find it hard to believe that a horse can make you feel better than anything I have in my medicine cabinet. However I am living proof that horses have healing powers.

Leadership, Mothers and Dictators

Leadership, Mothers and Dictators

Leadership, mothers and dictators can you recognise them in your workplace?

Life with horses is about self improvement. I was attending a virtual horse expo listening to an incredible horseman recently Tristian Tucker who made a statement about how to create balanced horses.  How to make horses that are mentally stable able to think through problems. He made the point that horses don’t want you to be a mother and they don’t want a dictator, they need a calm confident leader. I thought how powerful that statement was when thinking about leadership.  When you look at your teams in the workplace can you identify the mother and the dictator?

Mothers

In order to create a horse who is mentally able to cope with strange things we can’t mother it. Making it comfortable and stress free. In horse terms it looks like the best of everything.  You have seen the treat bringer, someone who always has a pocket full of the favourite treats so he/she comes to you. If something happens that it doesn’t like then we make sure that it never sees that stimulus again. He doesn’t like rugs so we don’t ever rug him again.

In the workplace mothering looks like the feeder. The person who bakes or brings lollies. Or the person who needs to make sure everyone is happy, they are a nurturer working out how not to have conflict.  They would rather ignore the difficult bits, they are no difficult conversation at all just nurturing. We can all be friends and we will take away anything that makes you upset. They will be the person that always brings comfort.

Dictators

In horse terms it means managing everything. Your horse is not allowed to make a mistake and learn. They are often punished but not always rewarded.  Every step is managed.

In the workplace dictatorship looks like micromanagement. You are not allowed to think your job is to do and to do in the way the dictator needs it done.  Mistakes will not happen and if they do they will be punished. Chances are  you will made an example of so no one makes the same mistake.

Fear

Both of these extremes are fear responses and coping mechanisms. Both end up creating a workplace full of anxiety. It doesn’t build innovation and confidence for growth.

I personally have operated in both styles, mothering making everyone my friend, and thought that management meant I needed a dictator style. I can say from experience that neither side is where you should stay. Use the tools when appropriate but to use leadership skills requires you to think differently.

Leadership

Creates confidence and develops people. Allowing people to learn be inquisitive and fail. Experience builds people so your role as a leader is to create opportunities for wins. How are you creating opportunities for your team to becoming a better and more balanced people?

Allowing someone to fail and learn is the hardest skill in the world to master.

Leadership, with calm confidence, how can you create the environment to create calm confident teams.  You can learn how with leadership workshops. 

Interview We Heart Entrepreneurs

Interview We Heart Entrepreneurs

Article as it appeared in We Heart Entrepreneurs.

interview Jannine Jackson founder leading together

Leading Together is a perfect place for growing people and organisations. This is because; at Learning Together you will be guided to find your authentic leadership style. Interestingly they use horses for their workshops and learning is based on emotional intelligence. Recently we interviewed the founder of Leading Together, Jannine Jackson about her journey.

Her ideas are inspiring and motivational. As a female entrepreneur, she shared about the challenges she faced in her entrepreneur journey together with advice to emerging entrepreneurs. Read our interview with Jannine Jackson to find out how she has been successful!

1. Hello! Can you please tell us about yourself?

I am a woman who has many roles as a CEO, an entrepreneur, a professional fundraiser, a mother, a leadership coach, an equine-assisted learning facilitator, and a horse trainer.

For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to find a way to help people and somehow make the world a better place.   As a child and young adult, I experienced a lot of personal trauma.  I was bullied as a child.  I didn’t have a stable family upbringing and then in my late teens, I experienced intense grief and loss, losing way too many family members in a very short period of time.  These events helped me in developing an understanding of the importance of compassion.  Everyone has a story and everyone has some trauma that they carry which has shaped the way they look at the world.

For the last 20 years, I have been living my purpose by working in across a number of leadership roles in the non-profit sector to change lives.  I have been a highly successful change agent growing organisations, often in areas that others thought were too hard. I have won international awards, dined with royalty and Prime Ministers but nothing beats those profound moments where a simple act of kindness can literally save a young life.

I guess on the other side of the coin I have also seen the worst that humankind can offer. The devastation and ripple effect that trauma can cause is also something that intrinsically motivates me.  During my working career, I have also seen extremely toxic workplaces, experienced sexual harassment. I understand the lasting damage that workplace bullying can do, I have seen it cause suicidal thoughts, lead to physical manifestations, and ongoing severe mental health problems.

These moments have really crystalized what type of leader I am and how I try to influence others to lead.  It is critical to have business acumen holding people accountable for performance and success but we need to see the people working with us not as commodities that are all replaceable but as incredibly valuable human beings.  I believe that everyone is trying to be their best with what they have been given.  It’s simply a matter of uncovering their purpose and finding tools and skills to help them shine.

So in the last 10 years, I started to bring horses into my life, I think this was my way of trying to heal and feel better.  But what I attracted were horses with issues.  I soon realised that owning a horse with issues is a dangerous proposition and I needed help to find a way to pursue my passion.

When I started working with a problem horse what I learned was that in order to make him a better horse I needed work on me.  What I accidentally stumbled upon was through training horses I became a better mother, wife, and leader.  I learned how to be patient, remove my judgment, how to be present, be in the moment, reduce my anxiety, start to see the world through their lens.  My empathy, compassion, self-awareness, self-control, what I began to become aware of was I was working on all of my emotional intelligence abilities without realising.  In helping horses I learned how to be a better human.  The more I learned about understanding horses the greater the insights I got about leading people.  And so the journey started.

2. Why did you decide to launch Leading Together? What inspired you?

I was approached and asked if I could run a horse leadership session for a group of senior corporate executives.  Someone had heard of something similar in the United States and asked me if I could run a session.  “Sure,” I said not knowing that this one session would completely change everything for me and those who attended.

Then this little idea just took a life of its own.  Before I knew it my first session started with 7 people in the round yard with my horse.

What I didn’t expect was the most profound learnings for those 7 people.  These are just some of their feedback relating back to their experience and how lasting the change was in them even months later.

I realised that I am always jumping in and being first.  This didn’t allow me any additional time to observation to learn.  In trying to understand how to get it right and be the best at it that I didn’t try and be as present. My focus was on getting it right.  I have been practicing patience and not rushing everything.”

“It was understanding the vulnerability of a close connection and being present with myself.  I learned how to be more self-aware about being present in the room. I left feeling focused and happy, with purpose and lowered the anxiety and the feeling has lasted

“This made me think about how to influence the other decision-makers so they get what’s going on. Thoroughly enjoyed the session.  I had so much energy for days after the session it was so inspiring.”

“Powerful and relatable, giving you the know-how to deal with other people and your team.  My confidence improved as a leader, I have done lots of thinking about the session afterward and still got more days later because it influences how you lead.”

Love it so much there were practical tips on what to do.  I could use straight away.  Being present and how you are feeling in the moment.  Made me understand how to relate your behaviours to moods. Highly recommend it.  It gave me confidence – about being present and shifting my emotions.  I was able to apply the experience immediately and improved confidence”

It’s a bio-feedback mechanism with a horse about your self-efficacy.  My learning from the session was I understood how to be up with intensity but with clear direction and focus.”

“I started with a fear of failure and feeling competitive.  My ego meant I didn’t want to be the person who couldn’t do it.  It was a new and different experience, I don’t have anything to do with horses so was intimidated and scared.  I felt vulnerable and way outside my comfort zone.  The connection I got was so refreshing and a great way to build a shared experience.  It was a completely new context to make the unconscious thoughts into a competence.”

“It was feeling like a pressurised situation where you go to a feeling of threat and try to make it about me. But then learning how to make it not about me and about being in control.  The experience connected a lot of dots and good personal values.  Its things we should be working on every day and when you have mastered it in one situation doesn’t mean you have it secure.” 

“It is an effective coaching and leadership tool.  It improved my relationship with my daughter.  I become more self-aware of my behaviour towards her.  I have been making a conscious effect and our relationship has changed.”

3. Your workshops involve learner-based educational experience with horses. What is the idea behind this concept?

It is honestly the best leadership training available.  Consistently leaders will tell me they learnt more about leadership in a couple of hours with a horse trainer and leadership coach than anything else they have done.

My insights into why this works so well are as a leader we need to understand how to use our soft skills or our emotional intelligence.  People don’t always tell you the truth they often tell you what you want to hear.  Horses don’t lie.  As prey animals, their senses are heightened and they feedback immediately how you are at that moment.

So as we learn to be present, lead with intent, and use our physicality to relate our messages horses will tell us if we are being congruent or not.  As you learn to relax and lead with confidence horses will engage and reward your behaviour regardless if you are CEO or a 10-year-old kid.  Empathy, body language, calm assertive confidence, self-awareness, self-control, and reducing our anxiety are all things we can learn.  These skills are required to motivate and engage and inspire teams but are not taught

It is like a try to be bodybuilder from a textbook.  You can read how to be a great bodybuilder but unless you physically lift the weights you are not going to be a bodybuilder.  The same is true for the skills required for leadership.  You can read all the textbooks but unless you experience what it feels like to be empathetic or what it feels like when you are controlling your emotions then you cant master the skill.  Horses are incredible teachers when we are being authentic to ourselves they immediately acknowledge and reward.

Management and being a boss are different to the skills of being a leader.  We are often taught the practical aspects of our roles and how to manage tasks rather than lead people.

4. Can you explain the ways you can help your clients?

We teach people to find their authentic leadership style.  So that they can feel confident and comfortable leading others.  It’s about uncovering their own truth and what may be holding them back.  Everyone has their own unique “aha” moments every time they come whether that is for one session or a whole 8-week program they walk away with tangible practical lessons for them.

5. With other leadership and coaching programs available, what makes Leading Together unique? How are your services different from its competitors?

Using a horse cuts through so much “stuff”.  Leaders often have to put on a brave face and lie to those around you.  Or the fake it until you make it.  Be positive and motivate everyone else regardless of what is going on for you.  However, “you can’t bullshit a horse”  authenticity matters to a horse. As prey animals, horses are incredibly sensitive to your motions and emotions. They respond to how you show up at that exact moment.  They don’t hold a grudge and forgive immediately.  So when you are with them and being genuinely clear, confident, and comfortable in yourself and your role as a leader they will follow.  Horses like humans just want to feel safe.  Horses are to herds as people are to teams.  They want a clear and confident leader but it has to be genuine.

“Horses make you humble”, you cannot ignore a horse working with a 600-kilo animal reminds you to be present.  You need to park your ego at the gate. You need to be aware of what you’re doing (or not doing) as a leader and the impact you’re having on those around you.

“Horses want you to set the pace” – know where you’re going, how you’re going to get there, communicate it, and role-model it clearly. Once you have their trust, you don’t have to wait for the horse – they want you to lead.

6. Did you face any difficulties or challenges when you decide to launch Leading Together? As the Founder and as a female entrepreneur, how did you face the challenges?

So many challenges how do you juggle trying to start a business, and being judged as the face and person stepping forward.  What if I fail?  Or what if I succeed?  As a woman in leadership, I have always felt I needed to work twice as hard to be taken half as seriously.

Time management is the constant challenge of how to find the time to be the marketing person, being the website developer, be hands-on coaching, and sometimes accountant.  I think for me it is allowing myself the opportunities to be vulnerable and to learn.  And constantly being open to getting advice from those who have the experience find the topic expert and ask.

7. As a female entrepreneur, would you like to share some advice for others who want to become entrepreneurs?

You have to have a ridiculous belief in yourself.  So that you can block out the criticism.  Everyone is scared when you start something new.  This is not unique.  Somehow you have to feel the fear and do it anyway.  The one thing I continue to remember is the advice “the breakthrough always comes just after you want to give up”.  So when you get the days where it all seems too hard, and everything is at the toughest point,  it is in that moment that the smallest step forward might just be your large breakthrough moment, that could be  “your overnight success”

The other little reminder I have is grandmother telling me you will only regret the things you didn’t do. Not the things you did do.  So don’t die wondering.

We are sure that you enjoyed and inspired reading this interview with Jannine Jackson, founder of Leading Together. To connect with her check her website www.leadingtogether.net.au

Lessons Learned from Finnegan

Lessons Learned from Finnegan

The lessons learned from Finnegan weren’t about horses it was about me.

Anyone who has ridden an anxious horse will tell you “its like sitting on a time bomb waiting for it to go off”

I wonder how many of you can relate to this story and all my problems.

I got back into horse riding after having many years off, and my enthusiasm wasn’t going to be dampened by my reality.  I knew I desperately wanted a horse and the one I could afford at the time was a green-off-the-track racehorse with a number of issues.  As we all know, for a green rider, is exactly the type of horse you shouldn’t have.  He didn’t load onto a horse float, he bucked almost every time you asked for a canter, he was anxious about everything, and I simply couldn’t keep weight on him.

So I am sure you wouldn’t be surprised when I told you I came off this horse multiple times. I experienced a number of broken bones, concussions and damaged discs in my neck. It is hard to remember the number of hospital visits and injuries sustained with this new found love of mine.  He was just like a ticking time bomb just waiting for the explosion.

Lessons That Everyone Wanted to Impart

Everyone had advice; all I needed was a different saddle, it was the saddle that needed to be fitted correctly, it’s definitely the bridle causing the problem.  When that didn’t work it was; his teeth needed to be done, you obviously just need to lunge him more, tire him out, he needs a chiropractor he is definitely sore.  Then it was; his feed is making him anxious, he has ulcers you need the vet.  I listened to all of them and tried all of them, each with their own expenses.  Now the bills are adding up, and I still don’t have a horse that I can do much with.

Maybe I just needed to spend more and buy a new horse because obviously all of these problems were because my horse just wasn’t right.

The Dream Horse Finnegan

So I bought a bigger better horse, Finnegan.  I was so sure that this was the answer because it was love at first sight. I just had to have this horse. He also loaded on the horse float and could be ridden out in public.  I thought I bought the dream.

That was until I had one of the worst falls of my life.  I broke my pelvis, had severe concussion, a dislocated shoulder, and was in the hospital and unable to walk for weeks.

So now my confidence and self-belief is at an all-time low.  Do I sell him too? I tried but just couldn’t part with him.

Incredible Horseman

It was at this time I met an incredible horseman who said to me, I am not taking on any more horses to retrain them.  He was meeting horses with human problems.  Not people with problem horses.  So unless people came with their horses to work on the whole issue he wasn’t going to do it.  Which is how I started working on me and my horses.

I needed to solve my own issues. It wasn’t just a horse problem it was also a people problem.

Lessons Learned from Finnegan

So now my experiences are very different and I see things differently. My horses allow me an opportunity for self-development every time I am with them.  I am always trying to find new ways to give my horses a stable state of mind and a willingness to learn as there is always something new to explore.  Every time I am with my horses I am practicing so many things. Am I present and aware of how I am feeling right now?  What is my horse telling me about how I am feeling?  When you listen they will tell you.

Finnegan would hold his head on my chest until I started breathing.  It took me so long to understand what was happening.  My routine was to rush down to the stables after work.  If I got home quick enough I could fit a ride in before dark.  So I would grab my horse, quickly saddle him and rush into the arena all the time racing before it got dark.  Then one day he started putting his head on my chest whilst I was trying to saddle him.  I would pat and then quickly rush to get the rest done and he would get more persistent.  Until I stopped and smiled and really noticed him and patted.  What I started to realise was that the act of patting him and noticing him made me think about him and not the task at hand. So I would breathe and my energy levels dropped.  He was a genius. He figured out if he could get me to stop and relax before I rode, I was happier and so was he.  Because I was in a different state of mind, I would be more patient and enjoyed my ride. It wasn’t just another thing to fit into my busy day.  The epiphany came, when reflecting on my behaviours in an executive coaching session. I became aware of what was actually happening.

So I started being aware of how I was feeling when saddling him up.  Every time, if I was rushing and anxious, he would put his head on my chest until I relaxed.  It was a habit.  As soon as I relaxed he would let me get on with what I was doing.  Once I figured out his queue for me our relationship shifted.  I started being more aware of the smaller things he was telling me.  This is how it started.  Finnegan became my teacher and wow what an incredible teacher he was.  So many life changing lessons learned from Finnegan but the biggest one is horses can teach.