The impacts of excessive stress affect your ability to lead and also your team’s performance. As a leader, it’s natural to experience a certain level of stress when managing a team. However, there’s a fine line between healthy stress and stressful leadership. When leaders become excessively stressed and create a culture of stress within their team, it can negatively impact the team’s performance and productivity.
Everyone at some point has worked under a manager who handles stress poorly. They respond by “kicking the cat”. The “kicking the cat” analogy refers to the effect of emotional contagion. Anger and anxiety pass from senior management to subordinates, from the powerful to the weak, and eventually to the bottom, the most vulnerable, who have no place to vent their anger and who then become the ultimate victims.
The impact of stressful leadership on team performance can be felt in so many different ways but none of them are helpful.
High-stress levels among leaders can lead to several negative consequences for their team members not just emotional contagion and mental health concerns but reduce the capacity and capability of the team. Below are a few ways in which stressful leadership might impact team performance:
Reduced Productivity
Leaders who constantly exhibit stressful behaviors may cause their team members to lose trust in their abilities. This lack of trust can then lead to reduced productivity and reduced morale. When you are in these team environments you see symptoms like the blame game, gossiping, and presenteeism. Without faith or confidence in leadership, staff will be unable to perform at their best. If the leadership is not demonstrating confidence in the vision and decisions staff themselves become unsure. Staff really struggle to be their best if they feel that leaders themselves are struggling to perform.
Decreased Creativity
Teams that operate under high-stress environments may not be as receptive to new ideas and may lack creativity. Stressful leaders may inadvertently stifle creativity by not allowing their team members to think outside the box.
Higher Turnover
Stressful work environments may eventually cause some team members to become burned out. This would ultimately lead to them leaving the team and even the company. High turnover can lead to lost revenue, decreased productivity, and increased employee recruitment costs. Even staff who stay in this environment generally won’t be the high performers. It is the staff who can fly under the radar and simply turn up.
Tips for Reducing Stressful Leadership
It’s important to recognize the signs of stressful leadership and work to reduce it. Here are a few tips for reducing stressful environments for your team:
Create transparency
Leaders should be transparent about the effects their actions might cause on their team. Open communication helps to create a positive work environment. Owning mistakes and using this space to create learning moments can not only create transparency but also provide ways to relieve some stressful moments.
Encourage team bonding
Encourage your team to bond and create connections through events and team-building activities. Fun can relieve stress and shared stories. Connection and trust are essential ingredients for high-performing teams. Team bonding is more than just one event it is essential that this is a learned skill and one that is continued to enhance culture.
Support autonomy and creativity
Giving team members the autonomy to make their decisions can increase creativity and lead to greater productivity. True leadership is about empowering staff to work independently and allowing them opportunities to make their own decisions and mistakes.
Celebrate the team’s work
Recognizing and celebrating the team’s accomplishments can create a positive work environment and increase team morale.
In conclusion, it’s necessary for leaders to be mindful of how their leadership styles can influence their entire team’s dynamics. Creating an environment that is less stressful and more open can help increase the team’s performance and productivity.
Fear. Anxiety. Dry mouth. Reactive. Upset in the pit of your stomach. Worry. Heart racing. What if… Emotional. Exhausted. As I sit and reflect on the reactions of my mind and body during periods of personal growth they are all very uncomfortable states. I keep telling myself it’s where the magic happens. It is pushing through the discomfort. The growth is on the edges.
I have personally been in a zone of discomfort for some time now. And thinking, why do I continue to do this to myself?
Discomfort
My current story for context is I have recently packed up my entire life and moved interstate, leaving behind a well-established network, family and friends. Whilst I realise I am not the first person to do this I didn’t fully appreciate how difficult it would be.
Finding myself without a vet for my horses almost tipped me over the edge when Peggy got an abscess and was in extreme discomfort. I just wanted someone with a degree to look at my horse and tell me it was going to be ok. Instead, I sat sobbing in my paddock face buried in my hands sitting in the dirt beside my horse. After trying unsuccessfully to get three different vets out to look at my horse, I felt defeated and my head was filled with negative thoughts.
It wasn’t just that moment but lots of smaller hard moments too. There are many time-consuming tasks in finding a dentist, doctor, hairdresser, mechanic, and most importantly a good barrister. People that you need to trust to give you good advice and support. Your network and community. These take time to build and I am trying to do it all whilst taking on a new all consuming job.
These simple things are things we take for granted and don’t use our conscious thinking, they become our routine, like finding the best route to work in the morning. What I have realised that all these tasks become mentally exhausting until we build new mental pathways in our brains.
Now, as I sit facing another day with a daunting to-do list. I am reminding myself it’s in the discomfort that we experience growth. Our personal growth happens on the edges. I know this fact to be true.
It is going through and surviving some of the darkest moments in my life that I have realised what I am really capable of.
As I reflect on all those who I have helped going through extraordinary circumstances, this is the common thread. It’s about understanding that feeling of discomfort is ok. Sometimes it’s great!
Controlling our environment
I am not sure why we have been trained to believe that we think life should be easy and we should always be happy. It’s not real life. Our curated world on social media shows us the highlight reels of everyone else’s existence. The advertising and marketing messages we are served up are clear if you have “this product or service” you will be happy and all your problems will be solved. You should be comfortable. And what happens to all of us after hearing and believing these messages constantly is that we move away from any level of discomfort at any cost. We control our environment to the point that we don’t experience discomfort. We live in air conditioning, don’t get wet, don’t get dirty, and somehow everything around us need to be perfect and controlled. Why? And how did we get here?
Feeling positive emotions all the time. It’s simply not true, nor is it possible. It’s actually unhealthy.
So, my revolution and evolution came when I started changing how I thought about that anxious and fearful feeling. It matters. Because being scared and uncomfortable is where you learn and where the magic happens.
Personal growth happens on the edges, it often happens when we step outside of our comfort zones and face situations that make us uncomfortable. When we are uncomfortable, we are often forced to confront our fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs, which are the catalyst for personal growth.
Find ways to challenge yourself:
I have found when I step into the space to do things that I am not comfortable with, I find new experiences and learning opportunities. You learn new things about yourself.
Overcoming obstacles:
This is the best way to build resilience. No book or course is going to give you better skills than when you face obstacles and challenges that make you uncomfortable. Learning problem-solving skills and patience is developed through practice. So the best the best possible way to develop your problem-solving skills is through overcoming obstacles.
Learning from mistakes:
When you make mistakes or fail, it can be uncomfortable. Let’s be honest no one likes making mistakes but it can also provide invaluable learning experiences that help us grow and improve. The quickest way to learn and improve is through mistakes, embrace them.
Developing new perspectives:
Understanding others happens when you step out of your comfort zones. Have you ever gone to another country and experienced a different culture or a different lifestyle? It is where you can gain new perspectives and insights, compassion and understanding come through a new perspective. This helps us to grow and develop as individuals.
When we face our fears and overcome challenges, we can develop confidence in ourselves and our abilities, which can help us grow and achieve our goals.
It’s important to remember that personal growth can be uncomfortable at times, but it’s also a necessary part of life. By embracing discomfort and facing our fears, anything is possible.
Sitting with colleagues I have heard it so many times. It’s a common saying among CEOs “it’s lonely at the top.” But why? This really got me thinking. From the outside looking in a CEO has it made, the great car, house, amazing job, meeting incredible people, great salary and everyone looks up to them, and they are celebrated.
As it turns out that the vast majority of CEOs feel isolated and alone in their role. According to the Harvard Business Review, over half of CEOs express feelings of loneliness, 61% of which believe loneliness hinders their job performance. There are a few reasons for this. Firstly, as the CEO you are ultimately responsible for everything that happens. This is a lot of pressure, and it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one who can solve the problem or the only one who cares about the organisation and the livelihoods of those who work for you. The position at the top is a 24/7 job, there is no off. The number of times I tried to take a holiday only for a media issue or a confidential legal matter to arise. I could almost guarantee on the first or second day of my leave would be the dreaded phone call.
There is pressure to be on and to perform all the time and now there is a blurring with social media channels and your personal life is also your professional life. So you feel like you are constantly under pressure to perform at the highest level and maintain your position. And heaven forbid if you make a mistake, it’s often magnified because you’re in the spotlight. There is no room for error or to be human at the top.
I know that while you have worked incredibly hard to get where you are, so why is it then, it’s also likely that you feel incredibly lonely at the top. No one truly understands this unique position unless you have been at the top.
Why CEO Loneliness Matters
Loneliness costs Australia an estimated $2.7bn each year due to adverse health outcomes and has worsened throughout the Covid pandemic, according to a new report measuring social connectedness. Loneliness can make you physically sick. I am sure if you think hard enough you will know of a CEO whose job made them unwell. For some of them, it was simply loneliness. How many of them had a position at the top and then you saw their health decline or saw how the position aged them? There is a lot of evidence that loneliness is a significant health concern but also it affects our ability to make good decisions. Social isolation and loneliness affect mental health, behaviours, sleep patterns, physical health and our ability to deal with stress. So why are our boards and CEOs not talking about this topic? Why is not just part of the CEO’s salary to have the support that they need to do their job well? There is a feeling of shame about feeling lonely.
If we want thriving organisations, looking after and supporting CEOs to perform at their peak, should be a priority. In reality, we expect CEOs to be strong and resilient and we want them to be able to cope with significant amounts of pressure. It’s not fair or reasonable to expect those around the CEOs like our boards and management to be that support as they don’t really want to have a conversation about their vulnerabilities and that they are feeling lonely.
Yes CEOs Are Resilient
They got to the top because they are emotionally resilient and often able to play their cards close to their chest. CEOs can often handle stress better and for longer, meaning we have a tendency to bend under pressure rather than break. And then we bounce back. This is why people in senior leadership roles managed to be a CEO in the first place. However, the research is clear that they are feeling lonely and this has a significant impact on their health and their ability to perform at their peak. CEOs need a constant deep well of resilience and ongoing ability to cope. Issues that come to the CEO are often too complex or difficult for anyone else in the organisation to solve. So these decisions have consequences. Yes, CEOs have resilience but they are also human too.
The Perks
There are many perks to being the CEO as some of them are just simply heady. The salary, the title, the ability to make decisions and to be recognised for them, to really make a difference and to build something. You have access to information and to people. The position allows those around you to look up to you because of the important role you hold. There are many reasons that CEOs work as hard as they do for the recognition and the power that comes with the position. It is important to understand that there is another side to this and it comes with a price.
CEOs Need a Support System
If I have learned anything from COVID it is that social connections matter. Our relationships matter whether it’s family or friends they are all critical to our ability to cope and succeed.
As a CEO, it can be easy to think we’re supposed to be able to do everything ourselves, but the truth is, no one can. And the sooner we can tap into a broad support system, the sooner we reduce the sense of isolation and loneliness. Not one person needs to be everything to you in your support network for example your romantic partner shouldn’t be your only support. But you need people around you that can be trusted.
Suggestions
Your board of directors and the chairperson should provide you with opportunities to debrief and to understand what is keeping you awake at night
Your management team should also be a team to support you
Your romantic partner probably knows you better than anyone else
A close friend and or family know you outside of work
A coach, mentor or paid professional to support you personally
A mental health professional to help you deal with the stress
CEO Network or group
This is not an exhaustive list but you need a team around you to support you when you need it. I personally found having a CEO network, (2020 exchange) of like minded people incredibly valuable. We were in different industries but often faced similar issues. There was no judgement and ability to share and learn from each other.
It is important that you use different people in your support network for different things. My close friends and family are for my silly moments and letting loose, lets be honest not everyone needs to see that. What ever you use your support network for it is essential for your wellbeing, happiness and success. Being at the top comes with a lot of advantages but it also comes with some unique challenges.
Get connected and dont be afraid to admit your lonely at the top because you are not alone.
Who do we trust? Where do we turn to for advice? What organisations can we look to in times of change?
I was doing some research and came across this article on the Australian Leadership Index. It provides a visual matrix of the social perception of intentions and competence. It started me thinking about the changes in how we seek information in times of crisis.
It was no surprise to me that our emergency services who continue to show up and save our lives are rated highly, and government institutions, are ranking low as they continue to make headlines for all the wrong reasons.
When media is ranked so low for a social license, it starts to make sense to me why more people seek information from our social networks. With once trusted institutions like religious organisations ranked lower than state and local governments, mining and insurance it made me curious as to what other social institutions have had a shift in perception and trust.
According to the Australian Leadership Index, “The warmer and more competent a social institution is perceived, the more it is trusted, seen as having a social licence to operate, and showing leadership for the greater good. This should give Australia’s leaders, especially its political, business and trade union leaders, pause before asking the public to trust their deliberations and assurances of concern for the public interest.”
This article is a short easy read, it did pique my curiosity, and created some insights. The bigger question is, what needs to change for our Australian Leadership?
This was a question I was recently asked to me. My enthusiastic response was “it can work for anyone if you are willing”. Now I know that sounds like it is a throwaway line, but as I started to reflect on the life-changing outcomes that I have seen first-hand I genuinely believe this statement.
Having worked with people of different ages and stages of life, and very different walks of life. I believe it is true. Working with very senior executive leaders to young vulnerable teens, I have seen it work every time.
What is Equine Assisted Learning?
We make change happen by creating unique workshops based on spending time with our horses. Our horses can help you shift your perspective in a very short period of time. It works because it is so out of the box and experiential. The horse experience helps individuals think differently, feel differently, and act differently. . Equine Assisted Learning is a growing trend and one that is spreading like wildfire across the globe. There are many people who have been using this form of learning for years, but it has only recently received recognition in the mainstream media. I wanted to share some amazing outcomes that explain why I continue to learn and offer my time in doing this.
How the Journey Started For Me
I was so lucky I got to spend some time with an incredible horseman Greg Powell. He opened my eyes to what was possible. He had started a charity called Kalandan Foundation and was working with very vulnerable teenagers and made a documentary about it called Wild Horses Wild Kids. At the time I was working for a charity called Sir David Martin Foundation and as part of what we funded was the brumby program with Greg Powell. What I witnessed during this time changed me forever. I was awestruck, excited and so curious as to how traumatised teenagers were changing before my eyes. I really had no idea what was going on. It felt at the time like I was watching a magic show. I could see changes happening I just couldn’t figure out how or what was happening.
I was asking so many questions and watching with a newly found curiosity trying to figure out what was going on right in front of me. Well, with my curiosity sparked I went down a rabbit hole that has changed my whole world. I am a very different person now, from the one that started this journey.
So many things have been put in my path from that moment until now and too many serendipitous moments for me to ignore. I have met some of the most incredible horse people and leaders from whom I have taken so much of my learnings. I also have had horses that have challenged and pushed me to find better ways. I have also pursued the dream by getting qualified as an equine-assisted learning facilitator.
The Leadership Session That Changed Everything
I am engaged in a leadership group and we were sharing stories and issues. One of the people in the group asked “if I could run horse whispering sessions for leaders” no hesitation I said “Sure thing”. And moved on with the conversation and didn’t give it a second thought. Not thinking anything more about that conversation, a few weeks later I was asked when I would be available for 8 senior leaders to come out to my place to run that session we talked about. I could feel that nagging inner voice telling me that I can’t possibly do this, and then, the panicset in. What on earth had I said yes to? I couldn’t run a session for other senior leaders. What would they say? How could I show my face if it didn’t work?
Or could I?
Then I realised I wouldn’t know if I didn’t at least try. So I did and the rest is history.
There were so many incredible things that happened that day for me and for everyone there. It was a moment that made me believe I really can do this.
Outcomes
Having worked with now a number of vulnerable young people, women with anxiety and senior leaders I realise that this can work for anyone. Here are a few of my favourite life-altering moments.
A young man with anger management issues, Aspergers and a raft of other complex issues came to do a 4-week session. He learned from my horses that “people listen to me when I am being nice and not angry. I can get what I want from being nicer people” This was a major turning point for this young man who at the time was unable to live at home partly due to his anger management issues.
A young girl who was struggling with her mental health and significant relationships with her family had almost completely broken down. She learned from horses how to make friends and be open to the possibility of letting others into her life.
A senior leader who was authoritarian in his approach to those around him learned from my horses how using fear and intimidation as a motivational technique felt to those around him. This changed the way he started dealing with his family. He began to have a healthy relationship with his teenage daughter.
A senior leader who was too apologetic and trying to be friends with everyone learned how to be calm and assertive in his approach. Amazingly his large team of staff started listening to him and he began to get results from a team who were disengaged prior.
A young anxious woman who was struggling, with everyday life and finding everything difficult. After going through family counselling, psychologists, medication when I met her she had given up. Nothing had really worked. Well, I can say my horses performed again after a couple of sessions we had a different person showing up she is smiling and engaged and positive about her life. My horses helped her understand her boundaries and see she needed some persistence to get through.
An anxiety-filled woman who really struggled to overcome imposter syndrome, now leading a team of macho men in a male-dominated workshop. Horses gave her the confidence to be her authentic self and find power in that space.
Equine Assisted Learning Can Help You
These experiences and so many more have changed my life. I continue to see what is possible. The incredible healing that my horses can provide from deep-seated trauma is something I don’t fully understand how. I just know it does. I can see my horse go into a calm lowered energy space and how she starts to transform those around her. It is something that is really special to see and feel. The change in the people in her presence. They explain it as “I just feel better”. If you don’t know it is happening you would miss it. I have begun to recognise the look on her face it is a different space for her to hold.
There is no noise, there is no movement but I know when she is providing healing she is moving mountains deep within people.
So yes I do believe that regardless of what is happening for you in your life Equine Assisted Learning can help you.
