Darren Peters has had an amazing career in sports leadership, business coaching and university lecturer. He has held some prestigious roles in sports CEO Australia Paralympic Committee, chef de mission of Athens Games , CEO Rowing Australia, GM at Surf Life saving. He know lectures on what it takes to in sports management at Torrens University.
He is also a high performance athlete beach sprinter and understands what it takes to make an elite sportman.
Darren’s insight into what is leadership?
Leadership is a evolution theory. Tribes of people getting somthing done. Aspiration to some and a burden to others. Group of behaviours. Social label in a role. Socially tantalising, it can be lonely places. Its a lot of things. Primarily you have to encourage people to get things done.
Listen to this episode to find out more about what Darren thinks about leadership.
As a leader you are in a position of power over others and…“with great power comes great responsibility”. It’s known as the Peter Parker Principal. Although the origins of this phrase pre-date Spiderman.
Origins…
The bible verse of Luke 12:48: “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”
Many great leaders throughout history have used similar phrases.
In 1817, British Member of Parliament William Lamb is recorded saying, “the possession of great power necessarily implies great responsibility.”
In 1899, U.S. President William McKinley used the following in his State of the Union address: “Presented to this Congress are great opportunities. With them come great responsibilities.”
In 1906, Winston Churchill, as Under-Secretary of the Colonial Office, said: “Where there is great power there is great responsibility,”
Though not the exact phrase, U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt wrote in a 1908 letter that “responsibility should go with power.”[16]
As a leader, it is important to understand you have been given a position of power. And with that power, you can choose to use it to build people up or use it to destroy them.
Destructive Power
Anyone who has been a victim of workplace bullying or worked in a toxic workplace will know the damage that can be done. When power is used negligently. It can ruin your confidence, cause anxiety, or even worse lead to severe mental health problems. When you are at work for most of your waking moments this constant stress can lead to physical manifestations and a breakdown in other significant relationships in your life.
There is a growing body of evidence showing that there is a significant correlation between bullying and low emotional intelligence. I believe that most leaders who lead through fear do this because they don’t know another way.
Having been the victim of bullying in my past. I personally understand the emotional and physical impact. It is this experience that continues to drive me to find another way to lead. I am a passionate believer that those in a position of leadership have a responsibility to manage and care for their team in a way that supports them. As a leader you have an obligation to show up, be present and do what you can. So that your team can grow into great leaders themselves.
Understanding the negative aspects of power can be hard to grasp at first. When I first starting managing people I was terrible. I used power rather than influence to get stuff done. I didn’t understand the consequences.
Moving from Good to Great
You always have a choice and sometimes you just need to learn how to influence. Learn to lead rather than manage. Improving your emotional intelligence is the first step.
By increasing emotional intelligence you can transform a workplace. It improves wellbeing and motivation. Research is clear that emotional intelligence creates the difference between good leadership and great leadership. Can you master the Peter Parker Principal?
Emotions start wars and create peace; spark love and force a divorce. While unavoidable, emotions are also indispensable sources of orientation and propel us to take action. But unbridled emotion can make us and those around us to act irrationally.
Emotional intelligence is a relatively new, but started to become mainstream with Daniel Goleman’s 1995 book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.
Emotional intelligence is simply put the ability to control your emotions and others in the present moment. It sounds simple but has a number of key factors. According to Daniel Goleman,
Self-awareness.
Self-regulation.
Motivation.
Empathy.
Social skills.
The business case for emotional intelligence
According to Google’s famous Project Aristotle initiative, a high-performing team needs three things: 1) a strong awareness of the importance of social connections or “social sensitivity,” 2) an environment where each person speaks equally, and 3) psychological safety where everyone feels safe to show and employ themselves without fear of negative consequences. To harness these three elements of a successful team, it takes an emotionally intelligent leader.
People feel cared for when these three items are present in a team or organization. People that feel cared for are more loyal, engaged, and productive.
10 times more likely to recommend their company as a great place to work.
9 times more likely to stay at their company for three or more years.
7 times more likely to feel included at work.
4 times less likely to suffer from stress and burnout.
2 times as likely to be engaged at work.
1. Deep human needs
The three core human needs of work (and life) are to survive, belong and become. Much like Maslov’s Hierarchy of Needs, once humans fulfill the need of food, water and shelter they will then seek to be accepted for who they are, and then finally to learn and grow to become their best selves.
The workplace is filling parts of our deep human needs.
2. Technology will enhance humanity
The Industrial Revolution required strong workers. The Information Age required knowledgeable workers. The future age of work will require emotionally intelligent workers.
As the world fills with more sophisticated technology such as artificial intelligence and 5G, human skills like compassion and empathy will define the competitive edge of workers and entire organizations.
In addition, as the world becomes more high-tech, there will be a desire and opportunity for more high-touch. As technology advances, it will take on a lot of the work that humans aren’t good at, don’t like, or too dangerous. This will leave us with more time and capacity to show up emotionally for each other.
3. Work and life blending
Not only are emotions finding their way into work, but workers want it more. A pervasive myth exists that emotions don’t belong at work. As the boundaries blur we want to be able to bring our whole selves into the workplace and this is inevitably messy.
4. Evolving employer-employee relationship
In the past, the employer-employee relationship was very transactional. But in today’s always-on work culture, the boundaries of the employee-employer relationship are expanding.
As employees seek more from their employers, moving from employing to empowering will serve employers well.
It’s not surprising then that more than any other generation, Gen Z wants their managers to be empathetic, according to The Center for Generational Kinetics’ 2020 study, Solving the Remote Work Challenge Across Generations.
If the youth is the future, and Gen Z are lonely and psychologically stressed then the future of work must be emotional intelligence.
People who make their living researching what frightens people the most have made a pretty amazing discovery. Consistently when people list the top five things they are afraid of in life, they have are some pretty intimidating terrors. But you would think that death would rank number one on that list. But death doesn’t take number one, it has to settle for number two. Amazingly, the number one thing that terrifies most people is not death, it is public speaking. A popular comedian once said that this means that people would rather be the guy in the casket at a funeral than the guy giving the eulogy.
If you have ever been in a meeting listening to a speaker, you can usually tell if they are terrified. They will get up there and you will see that “deer in the headlights” look. You know that look. It is one of extreme fear, panic, and terror. So profound that the person is frozen in place unable to speak or move. And if you have ever been that guy or gal in front of a group giving the “deer in the headlights” look, you know the feeling of terror. That fear that happens in front of a group of people can be pretty awful.
Public Speaking Is Now Part of Your Job
So if you know that public speaking is going to be part of your job or something you have to regularly, you have to find a way to neutralize that fear. And be able to relax in front of a crowd when you speak. How often have you sat and listened to a speaker who was relaxed, funny, bright, and even able to field questions with no difficulty at all? It’s easy to admire that kind of public speaker and think that he or she has some magical powers that you will never get. But they don’t have magic. That speaker has just learned some techniques for neutralizing those fears. So he or she can appear relaxed and as though he or she is having fun up there. It’s not an inborn talent. It’s a skill that can be learned.
Of course, a lot of the ability to look out at a sea of faces who want to hear what you want to say and not feel sick comes from experience. But experience teaches you things that you can at least understand before you become an old pro at public speaking.
Fear of Public Speaking
One of those things is that the crowd out there doesn’t know what to expect. If you broke down why you feel terrified in front of people, it’s that you think that they think they know what they want and that you are being judged.
But to understand what people really expect when they are looking at you at the podium on stage, just remember the last time you heard someone speak. You had no predefined idea what was about to be said. And you probably had no outline or any frame of reference for what that speaker was going to say. That means that even if you don’t deliver your speech perfectly, they will never know that! As long as you don’t let on that you are nervous or not sure about your material, they won’t know if you got it wrong. If you forget an entire segment of your speech, as long as what you do say flows nicely and they never know you forgot it. The people listening will think your speech was just fine and will probably applaud.
Speak To The Individuals
Also, remember that you are not really speaking to a group. The group has no ears. You are speaking to several individuals. When you are listening to a speaker, you are one person listening to one person. That is how each person in that audience is receiving you, as individuals. So if you speak to them as though they are one person and not a crowd, your presentation will be warm and persona. It will be successful. And the crowd will like you to which helps a lot.
Just remember that their expectations of you are fairly low and for the most part. People coming to hear you speak want you to succeed. So smile at them, use a bit of humor and use that little insider tip to relax up there. And when you can relax, you can actually have fun at public speaking rather than wishing you were the guy in the casket instead.
As a leader you are in a position of power over others and…“with great power comes great responsibility”. You can choose to use it to build people up or use it to destroy them. As a leader bullying, toxicity in the workplace becomes your responsibilty. Leaders need to know what it is and how to manage it.
Anyone who has been a victim of workplace bullying or worked in a toxic workplace will know the damage that can be done. It can ruin your confidence, cause anxiety, or even worse lead to severe mental health problems. When you are at work for most of your waking moments this constant stress can lead to physical manifestations and a breakdown in other significant relationships in your life.
repeated hurtful remarks or attacks, or making fun of your work or you as a person (including your family, sex, sexuality, gender identity, race or culture, education or economic background)
sexual harassment, particularly stuff like unwelcome touching and sexually explicit comments and requests that make you uncomfortable
excluding you or stopping you from working with people or taking part in activities that relates to your work
playing mind games, ganging up on you, or other types of psychological harassment
intimidation (making you feel less important and undervalued)
giving you pointless tasks that have nothing to do with your job
giving you impossible jobs that can’t be done in the given time or with the resources provided
deliberately changing your work hours or schedule to make it difficult for you
deliberately holding back information you need for getting your work done properly
pushing, shoving, tripping, grabbing you in the workplace
attacking or threatening with equipment, knives, guns, clubs or any other type of object that can be turned into a weapon
initiation or hazing – where you are made to do humiliating or inappropriate things in order to be accepted as part of the team.
Given more than 2/3rds of us experience workplace bullying there is a high probability that you are a victim, witness, or perpetrator of workplace bullying. The effects of this can last a lifetime. It is an important and urgent issue. I was staggered by the numbers and the research.
There is a growing body of evidence showing that there is a significant correlation between bullying and low emotional intelligence. I believe that most leaders who lead through fear do this because they don’t know another way. Bullying and low emotional intelligence also correlate also with workplace performance.
Having been the victim of bullying, I personally understand the emotional and physical impact. It is this experience that continues to drive me to find another way to lead. I am a passionate believer that those in a position of leadership have a responsibility to manage and care for their team in a way that supports them. As a leader you have an obligation to show up, be present and do what you can so that they can grow into great leaders themselves.
Physical Symptoms
What ongoing stress can do to the body
If you are seeing any of these systems in your organisation or in yourself you may want to evalutate if you are in a toxic workplace. It is important that we understand it. What does it look and feel like and then make choices to either leave or change the culture.
I have witnessed a workplace so toxic that woman were vomiting in the bathroom everyday through fear. There were suicide ideation discussed and strategies from leaders on how to support suicidal staff but none of the conversation revolved around improving culture. The anxiety in amoungst the team was incredibly unhealthy and had been normalised.
The physical and emotional cost is not just “burn out”. It can be permanent. It is trauma.
Solutions to bullying and toxicity are clear
By increasing emotional intelligence you can transform a workplace. It works in all areas of the organisation. , improving wellbeing, performance, and motivation. Research is clear that emotional intelligence creates the difference between good leadership and great leadership. Everyone wins in a workplace that has a higher level of emotional intelligence. If you want to learn more about emotional intelligence and how to use it you can download my free emotional intelligence book.
