Coping With COVID Lockdowns

Coping With COVID Lockdowns

by | Jul 14, 2021 | Blog, Leadership, Life Lessons

Coping With COVID Lockdowns

Getting another COVID test this morning and realising my birthday will not be the celebration I had intended brings with it more grief and confusion.  I realise that coping with COVID lockdowns takes a toll on my mental health and finding ways to get some of my routine back is important to me.

We are constantly being told by our government and health officials to be scared of being in contact with people.  Watch the updates. Be informed of hot spots.  Know what you are allowed to do.  (and this changes each day) This is not great for my anxiety and overall wellbeing. I have also noticed these news updates are not great for those around me either, somehow this lockdown seems even harder than the first.   I have had so many conversations with friends and colleagues, so confused and frustrated with the ongoing nature of the lockdowns.  The recurring theme of the conversations continues to come back to when will there be a priority on the general mental health and wellbeing of our population.  With mental health issues on the rise so many of us now know people not doing so well.

As a positive outcome, I guess we are now talking about our own mental health more openly.  Maybe sharing this might allow someone else to talk about how they are coping too.

Changing Plans

Outside of a COVID Pandemic I live an incredibly busy life and constantly juggling time commitments is something I am use to.  However being able to make plans and undo them constantly it is hard not to feel defeated.  The “why bother”.

I thought given we had no community transmissions for some time I was going to have a party.  Stop taking myself seriously and have some fun.  I was encouraged on by my ever faithful husband and simply, why not!  I have been gearing up to have a big birthday bash that I have spent late nights and weeks in the planning.  Invites have gone out and decorations ordered, internationals friends flying in and accommodation organised.  Its all now cancelled.  I feel gutted for all my friends and family who cancelled other important events in their lives to come and celebrate a milestone birthday with me.

Learning how to cope

My issue is, I try cope in all the wrong ways I get serious and try to control stuff I have absolutely no control over.  I tend to get incredibly busy with work and not spending enough time with my horses.  I instinctively fill my time so that I don’t have to listen to my self-talk.  This strategy is so short term, in the end it makes me feel worse.  What I have learned is that if I slow down and spend more time with my horses I am always stronger mentally.  It seems that this is a lesson I keep having to learn.

Managing People

As I try to find ways to navigate our organisation through COVID Pandemic with rules that are constantly changing, lockdowns and back out again, our team is looking at me for leadership.  I am trying to build routine to create certainty and comfort for my team, the task almost seems impossible.  As a people leader you are meant to be able to cope better than most and that is probably true but my routines are constantly changing.  So what can be done?  Well in trying to find some helpful resources and tips for myself and my team I came across some of these.

 

Finding routines, staying connected, eating well, and getting exercise.

Try not to judge others as you cannot control their response. 

Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have available to them.  Everybody has a story and emotional triggers, as we go through the COVID pandemic we can only try and use our own coping mechanisms.

Fear and anxiety

Fear and anxiety are the most common reactions, as we move through the pandemic and our health authorities, media are all continuing to provide messages that play into our fear responses.   It is important to understand that fear and anxiety are a normal going in and out of lockdowns.  But it all requires emotional energy.

Manage to find some small wins.  They will be there if you look for them. And write down your accomplishments.

Here are some more tips I got from Mental Health Foundation in UK 

Tips on coping with fear and anxiety

Control what can be controlled – there are a lot of things you can’t control that cause you fear and anxiety – but there are some things you can manage or plan for. Having an action plan for managing things you might find difficult can help.
Pace yourself – recognising that you need to go at the right pace for you is important. Don’t let others bully or pressure you into doing things you don’t want to – but try not to let that be an excuse not to push yourself, especially when it comes to reconnecting with friends safely, outside your home, when rules allow and the time is also right for you.
Build up tolerance – try doing something that challenges you every day, or every few days. Don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t go well but keep at it. Keep a note of things you’ve achieved, enjoyed or surprised yourself doing.
Vary your routines – try and vary your routines so that you see different people and encounter different situations. If one supermarket makes you nervous, try another. If a walk at one time of the day is very busy, try mixing walks at busy times with walks at quieter times.
Talk to work – Many workplaces are allowing more flexible working even if people need to return. If you are finding it hard to get to work, or do particular shifts or activities because of anxiety or fear, speak to your manager or a colleague you trust if that feels right. If you have or have had longer term mental health problems, you may be entitled to reasonable adjustments.

Coping with uncertainty

Focus on the present – you can only do your best with what you have today. With regulations changing frequently, and lots of conflicting media discussions, try and keep a focus on the moment. Mindfulness meditation is one way of bringing your mind back to the present moment.

Bring things that are certain back into focus – whilst a lot of things are uncertain at the moment, there are also things to be hopeful about. Try to record and appreciate good things as they happen. Try and take opportunities to reset and relax.

Talk to people you trust – it’s important to talk about how you feel. Don’t dismiss your concerns or judge yourself too harshly. You may also be able to find your tribe online, but try and get outside perspectives too.

Changes I am making

I have realised I need to fit my own oxygen mask.  I need to schedule more time to be with my horses.  They provide the emotional regulation and exercise that I need to be at my best.  I understand the importance that they have for my balance.  It is my self care so I can help others.

Lessons Learned from Finnegan

Lessons Learned from Finnegan

by | Sep 26, 2020 | Blog, Equine Assisted, Leadership, Life Lessons

The lessons learned from Finnegan weren’t about horses it was about me.

Anyone who has ridden an anxious horse will tell you “its like sitting on a time bomb waiting for it to go off”

I wonder how many of you can relate to this story and all my problems.

I got back into horse riding after having many years off, and my enthusiasm wasn’t going to be dampened by my reality.  I knew I desperately wanted a horse and the one I could afford at the time was a green-off-the-track racehorse with a number of issues.  As we all know, for a green rider, is exactly the type of horse you shouldn’t have.  He didn’t load onto a horse float, he bucked almost every time you asked for a canter, he was anxious about everything, and I simply couldn’t keep weight on him.

So I am sure you wouldn’t be surprised when I told you I came off this horse multiple times. I experienced a number of broken bones, concussions and damaged discs in my neck. It is hard to remember the number of hospital visits and injuries sustained with this new found love of mine.  He was just like a ticking time bomb just waiting for the explosion.

Lessons That Everyone Wanted to Impart

Everyone had advice; all I needed was a different saddle, it was the saddle that needed to be fitted correctly, it’s definitely the bridle causing the problem.  When that didn’t work it was; his teeth needed to be done, you obviously just need to lunge him more, tire him out, he needs a chiropractor he is definitely sore.  Then it was; his feed is making him anxious, he has ulcers you need the vet.  I listened to all of them and tried all of them, each with their own expenses.  Now the bills are adding up, and I still don’t have a horse that I can do much with.

Maybe I just needed to spend more and buy a new horse because obviously all of these problems were because my horse just wasn’t right.

The Dream Horse Finnegan

So I bought a bigger better horse, Finnegan.  I was so sure that this was the answer because it was love at first sight. I just had to have this horse. He also loaded on the horse float and could be ridden out in public.  I thought I bought the dream.

That was until I had one of the worst falls of my life.  I broke my pelvis, had severe concussion, a dislocated shoulder, and was in the hospital and unable to walk for weeks.

So now my confidence and self-belief is at an all-time low.  Do I sell him too? I tried but just couldn’t part with him.

Incredible Horseman

It was at this time I met an incredible horseman who said to me, I am not taking on any more horses to retrain them.  He was meeting horses with human problems.  Not people with problem horses.  So unless people came with their horses to work on the whole issue he wasn’t going to do it.  Which is how I started working on me and my horses.

I needed to solve my own issues. It wasn’t just a horse problem it was also a people problem.

Lessons Learned from Finnegan

So now my experiences are very different and I see things differently. My horses allow me an opportunity for self-development every time I am with them.  I am always trying to find new ways to give my horses a stable state of mind and a willingness to learn as there is always something new to explore.  Every time I am with my horses I am practicing so many things. Am I present and aware of how I am feeling right now?  What is my horse telling me about how I am feeling?  When you listen they will tell you.

Finnegan would hold his head on my chest until I started breathing.  It took me so long to understand what was happening.  My routine was to rush down to the stables after work.  If I got home quick enough I could fit a ride in before dark.  So I would grab my horse, quickly saddle him and rush into the arena all the time racing before it got dark.  Then one day he started putting his head on my chest whilst I was trying to saddle him.  I would pat and then quickly rush to get the rest done and he would get more persistent.  Until I stopped and smiled and really noticed him and patted.  What I started to realise was that the act of patting him and noticing him made me think about him and not the task at hand. So I would breathe and my energy levels dropped.  He was a genius. He figured out if he could get me to stop and relax before I rode, I was happier and so was he.  Because I was in a different state of mind, I would be more patient and enjoyed my ride. It wasn’t just another thing to fit into my busy day.  The epiphany came, when reflecting on my behaviours in an executive coaching session. I became aware of what was actually happening.

So I started being aware of how I was feeling when saddling him up.  Every time, if I was rushing and anxious, he would put his head on my chest until I relaxed.  It was a habit.  As soon as I relaxed he would let me get on with what I was doing.  Once I figured out his queue for me our relationship shifted.  I started being more aware of the smaller things he was telling me.  This is how it started.  Finnegan became my teacher and wow what an incredible teacher he was.  So many life changing lessons learned from Finnegan but the biggest one is horses can teach.