I wonder why, horses have healing powers? My logical and rationale part of my continues to diminish the unarguable results. I have personally experienced their healing powers. Today was another one of those days.
Maybe it’s got nothing to do with the horses, maybe it’s just me?
Is it being outside in the fresh air?
Could it be simply being present and aware?
Maybe it’s the exercise?
Is it some chemicals released?
Endorphins – a happiness hormones.
Dopamine – a satisfied hormone
Oxytocin – a relationships hormone.
You may have heard that horses are incredibly spiritual and can sense things way beyond our understanding. I see it with my own eyes and yet I continue to try and rationalise it as something else. It cannot possible be true.
Today I Am Broken
Today I feel like I experienced a miracle, I experienced the healing power of horses. I have had a day off because work has been crazy. Working incredibly long hours, weekends and managing tricky issues and I am not feeling great. Actually I am broken.
Well I have been unwell like I haven’t been in a very long time. Pain riddled throughout my body, my gut can’t decide if I am bloated, constipated or have diarrhoea. My back is cramping and nerve pain all down my legs. Also my joints just have a deep ache and a migraine to boot. I don’t want to move. My body is so fatigued that I am dizzy and just want to sleep but I am so over tired. I can’t even carry a whole sentence though.
Now as I am writing this it is late in the day and I am hot, sweaty, dirty looking like something the cat dragged in, but I am feeling so good. I have just simply spent time with my horses. This morning I stumbled down the back of our place to the stables. I needed to feed everyone and let them out.
We had a horse not doing so great so thought I needed to spend some time down in the paddock checking up on him. So I just hung out with my herd they were so serene this morning it was a little magical. The birds were chirping, beautiful sunshine and a slight breeze. Just a picture perfect day.
My Mood Lifts
I began to feel my mood lift just being with them. So much so I went up to the house to get some stuff done. Which ended in complete frustration as everything wasn’t going to plan. Even my coffee machine wasn’t working properly.
It was then that I started to become aware that I am feeling a little bit better than I was this morning. I hadn’t ridden any horses or spent anytime with them in more than two weeks. So why not grab one and go for a little ride. Let’s just work with one of them.
With my halter in hand I am walking towards my horses and thought whoever comes over to say hello, is who I will ride. Well my baby giant Duke never disappoints he is very quick to come and say hello. He always brings a smile to my face as he is always happy to see me.
Well I saddle him up and knowing I am not fully functional I am just going to do a short session in the round yard and go back to some basics. He was so good trying so hard that I didn’t want it to finish.
Feeling better
Now I am feeling even better and think well I may as well ride Pippi too. She too was amazing and trying so hard for me. Before we saddle up she is in my face needing to be hugged. Pippi is such an affectionate mare that her happy place is one with cuddles and pats. She just wants to be with me and really wants me to connect with her. Pippi is incredible at insisting you be present and making sure you breathe.
So why not do some ground work with a third horse because I am on a roll. Well little shy BJ (the new guy) had a break through too and just wanted to hang with me. So ridiculously cute!
When you can connect with one horse you can feel it in your gut and heart. Anyone who has felt it, knows it is something incredibly spiritual. I don’t have all the language to explain it but there is magic in that moment. Reflecting that all three gave me a deep level of connection today, they somehow knew I needed it.
Well now I am hot and sweaty but I am feeling so much better and I put it down to the healing power of horses. I don’t know how they do it but I do know it happens.
What ever the reason is it continues to work. I have seen it work on others too. “It’s my happy place” or “where I am relaxed” or “where I get my energy back” whatever their feelings are it’s always a place of wellness or well-being.
I know, I still find it hard to believe that a horse can make you feel better than anything I have in my medicine cabinet. However I am living proof that horses have healing powers.
Your Beliefs Shape Your Life So You Better Choose Them Wisely.
A lot of people think that their beliefs are like clothes. They really don’t have much choice in the matter. They just walk up to their closet, pick out what’s there, wear it, and move on to the next set of clothes the next day.
If that is you, your attitude towards your beliefs could be limiting your life. It would come as no surprise that you are not living your life to your fullest potential. Whether this means enjoying the best job, making the most money in your field, enjoying the best relationships, or looking physically fit, beliefs play a major role in your life. No matter how clueless you are about its role, beliefs will continue to remain important in your life.
Where Do Beliefs Draw Their Power?
Beliefs are like glasses. Depending on the grade of your glasses, the world may look crystal clear or it may look very fuzzy and you might even have a nasty headache when using glasses that have the wrong grade.
Beliefs work the same way. When you perceive reality, and I’m talking about the things that you can see, hear, touch, taste, and smell, they have to be filtered by something in your head. This is called your belief system. It’s your lens, through which you look at the world. So many things can change your lens, your past, trauma, culture all influence your beliefs.
When you filter this information, you give it meaning. You give it color. You give it a certain slant or angle. What do you think happens next? Your analysis of the things that you choose to perceive impacts the things you say, the things you do, and the things you feel about yourself and the rest of the world.
In other words, this is important stuff but the problem is a lot of people think that since they think a certain way that this is reality. They confuse objective reality, which everyone could agree with, with their own subjective take on the things that they perceive.
Also, other people excuse their own warped way of perceiving reality by saying that that’s just who they are or it’s part of their personality. How dare people question them!
Beliefs are chosen. Just as you can choose your clothes, you can choose your beliefs. I’m not saying that it’s easy. After all, beliefs do become habitual after a while. You don’t hang onto a belief system because it is just flat-out wrong and harms you. There’s something about the belief system that you have chosen that gives you enough benefits for it to be worth hanging onto.
Limiting Beliefs
It’s like wearing really raggedy shoes. You probably have really old shoes in your home. They look nasty and they could even smell like a rat died in them but, for whatever reason, you like wearing those shoes because they’re comfortable. You know that they don’t look the best; they don’t perform all that well but you prefer their comfort. They do well enough and serve you well enough so you keep them around and you use them day to day.
The same applies to your beliefs. There are many belief systems that have simply outlived their purpose or usefulness. It’s important for us to take a long, hard look at our beliefs and ask ourselves some hard questions. Otherwise, we will be living far below our potential. We would continue to look at reality with tools that really don’t serve us. That’s a tragedy.
When you become aware of your beliefs and are conscious of your lens you are looking at the world through you have a chance to change them. Emotional Intelligence could be a way to change your limiting beliefs that shape your life.
In just one session developing the confidence to lead…
I was lucky enough to catch up with a group of leaders who did my “emotional intelligence workshop” with horses and asked for feedback. Their reflections where more powerful than I could have imagined. Most importantly they reflecting on developing their confidence to lead effectively. These are their own personal insights and what they learnt.
These were their reflections more than a month after they did just one session.
I realised that I am always jumping in and being first. This didn’t allow me any additional time to observation to learn. In trying to understand how to get it right and be the best at it that I didn’t try and be as present. My focus was on getting it right. I have been practising patience and not rushing everything.
It was understanding the vulnerability of a close connection and being present with myself. I learnt how to be more self-aware of being present in the room.
left feeling focused and happy, with purpose and lowered the anxiety and the feeling has lasted
This made me think about how to influence the other decision makers so they get what’s going on.
Thoroughly enjoyed the session. I had so much energy for days after the session it was so inspiring.
Powerful and relatable, giving you the know how to deal with other people and your team
My confidence improved as a leader, I have done lots of thinking about the session afterwards and still got more days later because it influences how you lead.
Love it so much there were practical tips on what to do. I could use straight away. Being present and how you are feeling in the moment. Made me understand how to relate your behaviours to moods.
Highly recommend it. It gave me confidence – about being present and shifting my emotions. I was able to apply the experience immediately and improved confidence
It’s a bio-feedback mechanism with a horse about your self-efficacy. My learning from the session was I understood how to be up with intensity but with clear direction and focus.
I started with a fear of failure and feeling competitive. My ego meant I didn’t want to be the person who couldn’t do it. It was a new and different experience, I don’t have anything to do with horses so was intimidated and scared. I felt vulnerable and way outside my comfort zone. The connection I got was sorefreshing and a great way to build a shared experience. It was a completely new context to make the unconscious thoughts into a competence.
It was feeling like a pressurised situation where you go to a feeling of threat and try to make it about me. But then learning how to make it not about me and about being in control. The experience connected a lot of dots and good personal values. Its things we should be working on every day and when you have mastered it in one situation doesn’t mean you have it secure.
It is an effective coaching and leadership tool. It improved my relationship with my daughter. I become more self-aware of my behaviour towards her. I have been making a conscious effect and our relationship has changed.
Insights and Changes in Emotional Intelligence
My insights where that everyone got something different out of the session and it all related back to improving their emotional intelligence. The really interesting part was they could translate and put into action immediately. It was about understanding that everyone has something different that they see and feel. But it all relates back to the 5 key elements; Self-awareness, Self-regulation, Motivation, Empathy, and Social skills.
The lessons learned from Finnegan weren’t about horses it was about me.
Anyone who has ridden an anxious horse will tell you “its like sitting on a time bomb waiting for it to go off”
I wonder how many of you can relate to this story and all my problems.
I got back into horse riding after having many years off, and my enthusiasm wasn’t going to be dampened by my reality. I knew I desperately wanted a horse and the one I could afford at the time was a green-off-the-track racehorse with a number of issues. As we all know, for a green rider, is exactly the type of horse you shouldn’t have. He didn’t load onto a horse float, he bucked almost every time you asked for a canter, he was anxious about everything, and I simply couldn’t keep weight on him.
So I am sure you wouldn’t be surprised when I told you I came off this horse multiple times. I experienced a number of broken bones, concussions and damaged discs in my neck. It is hard to remember the number of hospital visits and injuries sustained with this new found love of mine. He was just like a ticking time bomb just waiting for the explosion.
Lessons That Everyone Wanted to Impart
Everyone had advice; all I needed was a different saddle, it was the saddle that needed to be fitted correctly, it’s definitely the bridle causing the problem. When that didn’t work it was; his teeth needed to be done, you obviously just need to lunge him more, tire him out, he needs a chiropractor he is definitely sore. Then it was; his feed is making him anxious, he has ulcers you need the vet. I listened to all of them and tried all of them, each with their own expenses. Now the bills are adding up, and I still don’t have a horse that I can do much with.
Maybe I just needed to spend more and buy a new horse because obviously all of these problems were because my horse just wasn’t right.
The Dream Horse Finnegan
So I bought a bigger better horse, Finnegan. I was so sure that this was the answer because it was love at first sight. I just had to have this horse. He also loaded on the horse float and could be ridden out in public. I thought I bought the dream.
That was until I had one of the worst falls of my life. I broke my pelvis, had severe concussion, a dislocated shoulder, and was in the hospital and unable to walk for weeks.
So now my confidence and self-belief is at an all-time low. Do I sell him too? I tried but just couldn’t part with him.
Incredible Horseman
It was at this time I met an incredible horseman who said to me, I am not taking on any more horses to retrain them. He was meeting horses with human problems. Not people with problem horses. So unless people came with their horses to work on the whole issue he wasn’t going to do it. Which is how I started working on me and my horses.
I needed to solve my own issues. It wasn’t just a horse problem it was also a people problem.
Lessons Learned from Finnegan
So now my experiences are very different and I see things differently. My horses allow me an opportunity for self-development every time I am with them. I am always trying to find new ways to give my horses a stable state of mind and a willingness to learn as there is always something new to explore. Every time I am with my horses I am practicing so many things. Am I present and aware of how I am feeling right now? What is my horse telling me about how I am feeling? When you listen they will tell you.
Finnegan would hold his head on my chest until I started breathing. It took me so long to understand what was happening. My routine was to rush down to the stables after work. If I got home quick enough I could fit a ride in before dark. So I would grab my horse, quickly saddle him and rush into the arena all the time racing before it got dark. Then one day he started putting his head on my chest whilst I was trying to saddle him. I would pat and then quickly rush to get the rest done and he would get more persistent. Until I stopped and smiled and really noticed him and patted. What I started to realise was that the act of patting him and noticing him made me think about him and not the task at hand. So I would breathe and my energy levels dropped. He was a genius. He figured out if he could get me to stop and relax before I rode, I was happier and so was he. Because I was in a different state of mind, I would be more patient and enjoyed my ride. It wasn’t just another thing to fit into my busy day. The epiphany came, when reflecting on my behaviours in an executive coaching session. I became aware of what was actually happening.
So I started being aware of how I was feeling when saddling him up. Every time, if I was rushing and anxious, he would put his head on my chest until I relaxed. It was a habit. As soon as I relaxed he would let me get on with what I was doing. Once I figured out his queue for me our relationship shifted. I started being more aware of the smaller things he was telling me. This is how it started. Finnegan became my teacher and wow what an incredible teacher he was. So many life changing lessons learned from Finnegan but the biggest one is horses can teach.
