5 Minute Guide to Emotional Intelligence
When it comes to finding success, most people believe that the higher your IQ, the more success you’ll enjoy in life. However, this isn’t always the case. In the last decade, the topic of emotional intelligence has gained popularity and been shown to be a better predictor of success. Fortunately, unlike IQ, emotional intelligence, or EQ can be learned and developed.
Emotional intelligence is your ability to be aware of, control, and express your emotions and to effectively handle interpersonal relationships with empathy. There are two kinds of emotional intelligence: interpersonal and intrapersonal. Interpersonal emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, acknowledge, and regulate the emotions of others. Intrapersonal emotional intelligence is about your ability to understand, accept, and control your own feelings, motivations, and fear.
Benefits of Having a High Level of Emotional Intelligence
Having high emotional intelligence is not only necessary for success but plays an incredibly important role in your overall happiness in life. There are a variety of benefits that are associated with having a high level of emotional intelligence and improving your emotional intelligence can help you to navigate better the social complexities you face throughout both your personal and professional life. Here are some of the indispensable benefits that you can gain by having a high level of emotional intelligence.
Success in Your Career
Being successful in your career has a lot to do with effectively dealing with other people. In fact, recent studies showed that 75 percent of jobs are derailed for reasons that are related to emotional competencies. This includes your inability to handle interpersonal issues, an unsatisfactory team leadership during times of conflict and difficulty, and the failure to change or adapt to changing circumstances, among others. When you have a high level of emotional intelligence, you will find that you thrive in the following areas:
Success in your career
· Managing a team
· Leading a team
· Working in a team
· Selling or marketing
· Providing customer support
· Negotiating a deal
· Connecting with professionals
When companies are filled with high emotionally intelligent workers, not only does it contribute to the overall success of the company, but it also creates a better work environment, which helps the employees remain happy with their job. Whist your employees are happy, your customers are more likely to stay happy as well.
Able to Build Better Relationships
Building better relationships with emotional intelligence
One of the most common reasons why most relationships end up failing is because of low emotional intelligence. As Dale Carnegie once said, “When dealing with people, remember that you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.” People that have a low level of emotional intelligence, often find it challenging to manage their emotions and understand others.
Building a relationship is a two-way street, which means that you need to work on raising your emotional intelligence, while also finding someone who also has high emotional intelligence. When two people with high emotional intelligence are compatible, the relationship tends to work out much better.
Improved Personal Development
Among all of the relationships that you have in your life, the one that you have with yourself is the best relationship. If you have a toxic relationship with yourself, you can’t hope to have a healthy relationship with others. Emotional intelligence helps you to understand and manage your emotions. The more that you can understand yourself, the more you can recognize the differences in others. This will help you to understand others better and meet them where they are.
So, before you can go on to help others, you have to start helping yourself. However, you need to remember that you can’t be selfish or self-absorbed, which will cause you to become indifferent to others. There is a delicate balance between putting yourself and your health first, and not making everything about you. Fortunately, improving your emotional intelligence can help to draw a line between the two.
More Confidence and Happiness
When you can effectively monitor unpleasant feelings, you can take more action to feel happy, confident, and calm. Too often, we depend on outside influences to bring us joy, confidence, and peace. While you always want to celebrate the positive events, if you continue to rely on them for your happiness, you’ll find yourself sad, depressed, angry, upset, and more in your default state.
Having high emotional intelligence means that you can switch from this default state because you are able to regulate your emotions effectively. Through mindfulness, and taking the right actions, you can ultimately become more focused, happy, confident, relaxed, and enthusiastic in your life.
The Components of Emotional Intelligence
Psychologist and best-selling author of the book: Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, Daniel Goleman, has suggested that five components are critical to emotional intelligence. The more that you can manage each of these five components in your life, the higher level of emotional intelligence you can expect to have.
Component #1 – Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is your ability to recognize, as well as understand your emotions, skills, and motivations. Another important aspect of self-awareness is understanding how your emotions affect those around you. To achieve self-awareness, you need to learn how to monitor your emotional state and identify your feelings. Traits that prove a person is emotionally intelligent to include the ability to laugh at your mistakes, confidence, and the awareness of how others perceive you.
Component #2 – Self-Regulation
Being able to self-regulate, when it comes to emotional intelligence, is your ability to control your impulses, the ability to think before you speak or react, and the ability to express yourself appropriately. In other words, it’s the emotional maturity that allows you to take responsibility for your actions, as well as being able to adapt to change and respond to other’s emotions appropriately.
Component #3 – Motivation
Motivation is having an interest in learning and improving yourself. This component of emotional intelligence is about having the strength to keep going when encounter obstacles in your life and setting goals and sticking to them. An emotionally mature individual in this category has traits like having initiative and being able to commit to the completion of a task, as well as having the perseverance to continue on in the face of adversity.
Component #4 – Empathy
Having empathy means that you understand other people’s emotions and reactions. You can only achieve empathy for others if you’ve achieved self-awareness. Before you can understand others, you have to be able to understand yourself and your emotions. Those who have emotional maturity in the category of empathy possess traits like being interested in other’s worries and concerns, being able to anticipate someone’s emotional response to an issue, and the understanding of societal norms and why people act the way they do.
Component #5 – Social Skills
Social skills are your ability to pick up on sarcasm, jokes, customer service, finding common ground with others, and the ability to maintain relationships. It is defined as someone who has excellent communication skills, good time management skills, the ability to resolve difficult situations or conflicts using persuasion, and the ability to be a leader.
How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence
Like any other skill that you want to develop, improving your emotional intelligence will take both time and practice. To start with, you have to develop a growth mindset and believe that you can improve your emotional intelligence no matter where you’re starting. You also have to think that there is no limit to how much you can improve your EQ. Here are some of the best ways that you can improve your emotional intelligence.
Know Yourself and Others
There are a lot of theories out there on personality traits, but the “Big 5” personality traits have been wildly researched and talked about. The five traits include openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, neuroticism, and agreeableness. When you can come to understand your personality traits, it can become much more comfortable to accept or change who you are, while becoming more understanding and accommodating to the behavior of others.
Define Your Values and Beliefs
Limiting beliefs
While we all have similar basic needs, we all want different things in life and hold different beliefs and values. The worst thing you can do is chase others desires or copy their beliefs and not staying true to your values. To overcome this and improve your emotional intelligence, you need to take the time to set your beliefs, values, and goals. Once you’ve chosen your values, you need to define each one in your own words with as much detail as possible. The clearer your definition, the higher the chances that you’ll stick with your values and direct your energy toward them.
Listen to Yourself
Whether you realize it or not, your body and mind are continually giving you signs, but it’s not easy to notice them when you’re living on autopilot. Many times, we experience what is known as Amygdala Hijack. The amygdala is an area in the brain that is responsible for processing emotions. When it is hijacked, your pre-frontal cortex gets shut off, and the amygdala region of the brain activates your fear, putting you into the fight-or-flight response. While this phenomenon helped us to survive in the past, it often gets us into trouble today. The best way to combat this is to practice mindfulness.
Visit the Past to Create the Future
Since your childhood, you’ve been exposed to millions of different concepts that set the foundation of your subconscious mind. Your past holds a lot of insight into why you do what you do. Looking back at your past can help you to understand the underlying reason for your values, desires, thought patterns, preferences, and emotional reactions. Start by asking questions and resetting your mind and exploring the possibilities of what you can let go and who you can ultimately become. When you can develop a better understanding of your past, you become free to create a better future and navigate the world with confidence.
Learn to Handle Emotions Appropriately
If you want to improve your emotional intelligence, you need to begin to understand a wide range of emotions and how to handle them. The benefits of building your emotional granularity are immense including being 30 percent more flexible when regulating your emotions, being less likely to explode in anger when someone hurts you and handling fear and anxiety in a better way, among others.
Learn to Listen to Others
Learning to listen to others
You have to approach everything with a beginner’s mind and treat every opportunity to look at things from a different perspective. The more perspectives that you can collect, the more you will start to realize how small your viewpoint really is. If you want to expand your perception and knowledge, you have to learn how to observe and listen. You can also work on getting honest feedback from others on how they perceive you. The insights that you receive about yourself will change your life.
Learn to Communicate Better
There are two types of communication, verbal and non-verbal. When it comes to verbal communication, learn how to listen to others rather than thinking about what you’re going to say next. You can also try to make people feel safe by showing kindness. To improve your verbal communication skills, you can’t be afraid to share yourself with others, and you have to explain things simply so that others will want to listen to you.
To improve your non-verbal communication skills, you will need to learn how to use eye-contact appropriately, uses gestures and expressions in your communication, and read people by paying attention to the body language and expressions of others.
Conclusion
You can’t expect for people, including yourself, to be intelligent all the time. We all make mistakes, and one of the humblest things that you can do as a person with high levels of emotional intelligence is to accept mistakes. When it comes to improving your emotional intelligence, you want to make sure that when you meet people who lack EQ, you can lead by example and hope for the best for them. None of us are born with high emotional intelligence, but rather, it is something that we have to learn how to develop throughout our life. With this simple 5-minute guide on emotional intelligence, you can get a start on the path to improving your EQ and finding happiness and success in your life.
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