As a leader you are in a position of power over others and…“with great power comes great responsibility”. It’s known as the Peter Parker Principal. Although the origins of this phrase pre-date Spiderman.
Origins…
The bible verse of Luke 12:48: “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”
Many great leaders throughout history have used similar phrases.
In 1817, British Member of Parliament William Lamb is recorded saying, “the possession of great power necessarily implies great responsibility.”
In 1899, U.S. President William McKinley used the following in his State of the Union address: “Presented to this Congress are great opportunities. With them come great responsibilities.”
In 1906, Winston Churchill, as Under-Secretary of the Colonial Office, said: “Where there is great power there is great responsibility,”
Though not the exact phrase, U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt wrote in a 1908 letter that “responsibility should go with power.”[16]
As a leader, it is important to understand you have been given a position of power. And with that power, you can choose to use it to build people up or use it to destroy them.
Destructive Power
Anyone who has been a victim of workplace bullying or worked in a toxic workplace will know the damage that can be done. When power is used negligently. It can ruin your confidence, cause anxiety, or even worse lead to severe mental health problems. When you are at work for most of your waking moments this constant stress can lead to physical manifestations and a breakdown in other significant relationships in your life.
There is a growing body of evidence showing that there is a significant correlation between bullying and low emotional intelligence. I believe that most leaders who lead through fear do this because they don’t know another way.
Having been the victim of bullying in my past. I personally understand the emotional and physical impact. It is this experience that continues to drive me to find another way to lead. I am a passionate believer that those in a position of leadership have a responsibility to manage and care for their team in a way that supports them. As a leader you have an obligation to show up, be present and do what you can. So that your team can grow into great leaders themselves.
Understanding the negative aspects of power can be hard to grasp at first. When I first starting managing people I was terrible. I used power rather than influence to get stuff done. I didn’t understand the consequences.
Moving from Good to Great
You always have a choice and sometimes you just need to learn how to influence. Learn to lead rather than manage. Improving your emotional intelligence is the first step.
By increasing emotional intelligence you can transform a workplace. It improves wellbeing and motivation. Research is clear that emotional intelligence creates the difference between good leadership and great leadership. Can you master the Peter Parker Principal?
Embarrassing I reflect back on when I starting managing staff I was terrible, I was a shit boss. I had no idea what I was doing.
I know I just wanted people to do what I told them just because I said so. There was no buying into the vision or understanding their motivations. Even making sure you leave your stuff at the door.
We have all had bosses like it. I made sure there was enough fear so that staff wouldn’t question my authority.
I thought I had to be more “authoritative” than the person next to me. If I was in control so people just needed to do as I said. There was no “win-win” it was my way or the highway. I look back now and shudder. I honestly didn’t know there was any other way. All the managers I had worked for up to that point were very results-driven. If you didn’t reach your numbers, you were marched into the office to justify your job. Fear was how you got people to do their job. I had no role models to learn how to lead or how to mentor someone. However, here I am now more than 20 years later, I have learned how to manage in a way that is more authentic to me and it works!
You don’t have to be a shit boss developing emotional intelligence matters.
What is emotional intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is simply put the ability to control your emotions and others in the present moment. It sounds simple but has a number of key factors. According to Daniel Goleman,
Self-awareness.
Self-regulation.
Motivation.
Empathy.
Social skills.
Why is it important?
Developing emotional intelligence is the one factor that will make you successful in almost every area of your life. At a professional level is the one factor that sets high-performing leaders above others. On a personal level, it means your relationships around you will feel more connected. Allows for improved communication skills and increases your resilience. It turns out it is one of the most important life skills and increases your chances of success in every area of your life.
I have learned how to coach teams into high performance staff that want to come to work. Wow, they even laugh. They are self-motivated and managed with compassion and outcomes. It is possible to enjoy your job.
People who make their living researching what frightens people the most have made a pretty amazing discovery. Consistently when people list the top five things they are afraid of in life, they have are some pretty intimidating terrors. But you would think that death would rank number one on that list. But death doesn’t take number one, it has to settle for number two. Amazingly, the number one thing that terrifies most people is not death, it is public speaking. A popular comedian once said that this means that people would rather be the guy in the casket at a funeral than the guy giving the eulogy.
If you have ever been in a meeting listening to a speaker, you can usually tell if they are terrified. They will get up there and you will see that “deer in the headlights” look. You know that look. It is one of extreme fear, panic, and terror. So profound that the person is frozen in place unable to speak or move. And if you have ever been that guy or gal in front of a group giving the “deer in the headlights” look, you know the feeling of terror. That fear that happens in front of a group of people can be pretty awful.
Public Speaking Is Now Part of Your Job
So if you know that public speaking is going to be part of your job or something you have to regularly, you have to find a way to neutralize that fear. And be able to relax in front of a crowd when you speak. How often have you sat and listened to a speaker who was relaxed, funny, bright, and even able to field questions with no difficulty at all? It’s easy to admire that kind of public speaker and think that he or she has some magical powers that you will never get. But they don’t have magic. That speaker has just learned some techniques for neutralizing those fears. So he or she can appear relaxed and as though he or she is having fun up there. It’s not an inborn talent. It’s a skill that can be learned.
Of course, a lot of the ability to look out at a sea of faces who want to hear what you want to say and not feel sick comes from experience. But experience teaches you things that you can at least understand before you become an old pro at public speaking.
Fear of Public Speaking
One of those things is that the crowd out there doesn’t know what to expect. If you broke down why you feel terrified in front of people, it’s that you think that they think they know what they want and that you are being judged.
But to understand what people really expect when they are looking at you at the podium on stage, just remember the last time you heard someone speak. You had no predefined idea what was about to be said. And you probably had no outline or any frame of reference for what that speaker was going to say. That means that even if you don’t deliver your speech perfectly, they will never know that! As long as you don’t let on that you are nervous or not sure about your material, they won’t know if you got it wrong. If you forget an entire segment of your speech, as long as what you do say flows nicely and they never know you forgot it. The people listening will think your speech was just fine and will probably applaud.
Speak To The Individuals
Also, remember that you are not really speaking to a group. The group has no ears. You are speaking to several individuals. When you are listening to a speaker, you are one person listening to one person. That is how each person in that audience is receiving you, as individuals. So if you speak to them as though they are one person and not a crowd, your presentation will be warm and persona. It will be successful. And the crowd will like you to which helps a lot.
Just remember that their expectations of you are fairly low and for the most part. People coming to hear you speak want you to succeed. So smile at them, use a bit of humor and use that little insider tip to relax up there. And when you can relax, you can actually have fun at public speaking rather than wishing you were the guy in the casket instead.
If you follow these 4 easy steps to a compelling presentation you will be able to go from terror to triumph in no time.
Create a Problem and Then Solve It
How well your presentation goes the next time you step up to a podium depends on several factors. But one factor you can control completely is your script. The way you organize your content and how you present the material to that crowd can either totally captivate them and drive them step by step to conclusion or it can bore them to sleep. Its all in how you construct your presentation and how you present what you want them to know throughout the talk.
The difference between a great talk and a boring one is simple. A great talk is compelling. A great talk gets to the heart of a common experience. It addresses something we all go through and deals with a need we all experience. In short, a great talk solves a problem. So to create a presentation that reaches out and grabs your audience and holds them for the entire time of your presentation, you have to create a problem for them. And then you have to solve it.
Add Drama
The point when you create the problem is in your opening comments. Now don’t shy away from being a bit melodramatic in your opening. Remember the goal of the opening is to grab the audience’s group attention and rivet it on your talk. So present the problem statement in a personal way, how it is meaningful on a personal level to the audience and to you. A about 20% of the time to the creation of the problem statement. By the time you have created that big monster in the room, they will be ready for you to guide them toward the solution.
With the audience “in the palm of your hand”, you can move directly into the description of the perfect solution. The solution phase of your talk can be broken into two parts. First describe what the perfect solution would look like. You would not even directly bring up your solution just yet. Base your description of the perfect solution on the problem statement so you have an aspect of the solution that fits every possible problem created at the first part of your talk.
Now Give the Solution
The next phase is the next to the last and comes about 50% into your time. Now you have the audience in a perfect place to hear your solution. Use about 30-40% of your total time on the proposed solution, fitting it perfectly to your discussion of the problem and the outline of what a perfect solution looks like. By this time the audience is eager to know the solution. All you are doing now is closing the deal.
If we followed a standard “term paper” approach to a program, the final phase would be to sum up and go over what you just talked about. But we are not going to follow that pattern because this is the time for the “pay off”. In your closing statements, you finally disclose the action to be taken. By giving your audience what they can do to take the first step on putting your solution into motion, you are cashing in on all that energy you created in the first 80% of your speech.
Close the Deal
Now close the deal by giving them concrete and “right now” things they can do to recognize the problem and start the wheels turning on making the solution a reality. If its possible make the first step of implementing that solution happen right there in the room with you. That might be signing up for a newsletter, giving you an email address or going to another room for further counseling and discussion. You know what it is. But by using that energy, you convert passive listeners to active participants. And you did that with a very well designed and a well executive presentation plan.
We have a great book that can provide many more tips to deliver that perfect presentation. You can learn how to close your deal with more easy steps to a compelling presentation inside, Public Speaking from Terror to Triumph.
