I am so incredibly grateful that I found out how my ponies can change lives, its in these life changing moments that I see how easy it can be. I have had the opportunity to work with senior leaders, women and vulnerable young people. Regardless of their story, simply, how life changing this can be. I have had such powerful conversations that I just don’t know where or how else you can do that. After meeting someone for 5 mins you can then have life changing conversations. One such moment was talking with a young man with autism and behavioral issues, he decided rather than being violent when you are frustrated try talking calmly. My horse showed him the way. It was an aha moment for him. Which then led to another conversation about how to have respect for his family and belongings.
An incredibly shy young woman about how to engage with people and make new friends. A senior leader learning how to breath and stay calm under highly stressful situations. A young woman learning how to hold herself to be confident and assertive without dominance in difficult situations.
I realise that these are just small moments in a life time but they are profound. It just melts my heart.
It doesn’t matter your story or where you are this works.
Has anyone told you not to do something or not to behave a certain way and that is the one thing you are focusing on? Dieting is a great example for me. Don’t eat sugar its bad for you. So I am thinking all day about a packet of lollies and how I am not allowed to eat it. Guess what the first thing is I grab for when I am tired. Or currently, because we are not allowed to travel, so I am thinking about all the amazing destinations and things I am missing out on. I call it my FOMO (my fear of missing out). COVID is certainly testing my FOMO.
I had my Aha! moment teaching someone to ride on the weekend and they were focusing on “the don’t”. So when I asked “what are you thinking about?” and they responded, “I am thinking about not using my spurs”. They could do that for about 6 or 7 strides and then they would be doing the precise thing that they were trying not to do. “So, try replacing your don’t with a do. Let’s try thinking about using our calf and upper thigh”. It worked.
My inspiration came from listening to two podcasts only days apart about this exact thing from two different horsemen telling the exact same story just from their own point of view. Warwick Schiller’s Performance Horsemanship and Double Dan Horsemanship told the story of the blue tree. Don’t think about the Blue Tree – anyway the only thing you think about is the blue tree. Highly recommend both of their podcasts, great storytellers.
Do…
When you fill your mind with what you want and the stronger you can make the visual the easier it is to do. Try a vision and fill in the feelings, sights, sounds, and smells. The clearer the image the easier it is to create that end result. That is why sports psychologists talk about the visuals and a clear focus. Visualise the ball going through the hoop no net. If it works for elite athletes why can’t it work for you or me?
Our brains are wired to do only one thing at a time and when we create a mental picture they are brilliant at filling in the blanks and making it happen.
So I am going to practice focusing on what I want. I am going to try and replace my don’ts with my do’s.
