Ever felt dog tired and just needed a little something to pick you up and make you feel better?  Most people buy a new dress, maybe a new lipstick.  Well, my retail therapy was buying a horse.  After years of not owning a horse with nowhere to put one, I decided that the only thing going to make me feel better was buying a horse.  I look back now and I am grateful to my ever-forgiving and patient husband who tried to be the rational voice.  He was solid until I showed him a picture of a horse called “Ben” (my husband’s name) whilst emotionally explaining that this would make me so happy.  He reluctantly agreed that I could call and find out if he was still available.  

Well as it turns out he was gone but by then my husband had agreed to the idea and in my usual fashion, I was all in.  I hunted around for a “cheap horse” because we couldn’t afford an expensive one. I found just the one and he sounded perfect.  A gorgeous chestnut gelding off-the-track thoroughbred would be great for beginners.  I immediately packed everyone up in the car to go and just look at him right away.  

Initial warnings

In hindsight, I should have known that there would be an issue with this beautiful horse.  The person I bought him from only rode him for a short time and she wasn’t comfortable cantering him.  He was already caught and saddle up when we went to look at him, there were so many red flags but, I was hooked.  He was the first horse I went to see in person and I just had to have him.  

Now I have bought a horse but, I have no way to transport him, no place to put him, no vet checks, no saddle, not a brush, not even a lead rope.  I had nothing but the idea that I wanted a horse. Well, I solved all those problems quick smart and bought him home to an agistment property that I didn’t even visit.  My cheap horse is now getting quite expensive and I haven’t even done anything with him yet.  

I should have realised again that there would be problems when the farrier comes out to the property to do his shoes he says to me “he still has race shoes on, he is not long off the track!” and “this is your beginner horse?” Ohh no… But what would he know, I had just bought the horse of my dreams.  This was a dream come true and no one was going to dampen my spirits.  

More issues

Well, “H” as he became to be known, had a couple of issues.  He would buck every time you asked for a canter, he wouldn’t get on a horse float, he pulled away when being lunged and was terrified of so many things.  At times he was simply dangerous to be around.    

One of the many injuries

After numerous broken bones and hospital visits and so many falls from this horse. I knew I needed help. My dream was turning into a nightmare.

H plays Santa’s helper

I got two different horse trainers to teach him to load on a float.  Because they could get him on once but that was it.  I wanted to be able to take my fantastic horse out of the paddock.  I wanted to compete and go to the riding club and enjoy time with him. I knew I needed help but I didn’t know what help I needed. 

So this is how my journey with horses and emotional intelligence started.  It started with a horse who I loved but couldn’t do anything with and thought someone else could fix him.  

What I have discovered over the years is that to “fix a horse” I needed to fix myself.  So the journey begins.