Leadership is not a title you can assign to someone. It’s a set of skills that you develop over time and use in different situations. A lot of people think that leadership is about making others do what they want, but it’s not. Leadership is actually about making others feel like doing what you want them to do – by showing them why it’s important.
Leadership is the quality of influencing, inspiring or motivating people to achieve a shared goal. This definition seems simple enough, but what does it really mean to be a good leader?
Leaders inspire others to follow and provide an environment to be their best. Sounds simple but it is one of the hardest things to accomplish. A strong leader will also have the ability to execute strategy while motivating employees at all levels of an organisation or group. Leadership is not an easy job, so being able to develop trust with your team will prove invaluable on your journey towards building a successful team.
What Makes a Good Leader?
Some people are born leaders, but not all of us. Leadership is a learned skill, and the ability to become a leader depends on your attitude and actions. It also depends on your choices – yes, you have choices as a leader.
If you’re willing to learn what makes a good leader, consider these 8 tips:
Focus on yourself first. As a new leader or manager of others, it’s easy to rush into building rapport with those that report to you. A common trap is to try to be a people pleaser. I have seen this happen so many times where leaders try to be friends with their team and colleagues.
Improve your emotional intelligence and be aware of your strengths and weakness. You need to understand the space you are good in and when you need support from others. This is critical when you looked to for supporting and communicating with others
Be prepared to have someone you trust to debrief and confide with as you learn and grow (a coach or mentor)
When leading teams you need to find out what is important to them. You need to have empathy and care about what are their goals and ambitions are.
The most effective leaders are those who inspire others to go above and beyond their own expectations.
A good leader must be willing to lead from the front, not from behind.
He or she must know how to adapt as situations change, and make decisions with conviction in order to ensure success for everyone involved.
Be prepared to make mistakes… So many mistakes, but simply learn from them.
Leadership Learning From a Horse?
I’ve learned some valuable leadership lessons from training horses. I believe I have learnt more about being a leader and about myself from my horses than anyone else. This is a hard concept to believe but it is true. Having a horse that is so highly attuned to your emotions is quite a confronting experience. You see I was a highly anxious person, so many things would make me angry, nervous or just want to run away and hide. It is not a great way to live and the consequences for it are your health and damaging important relationships. Also, it doesnt make for a great leader!
Controlling Your Emotions
Having a horse that is a nervous anxious horse is not a fun experience and so I needed to learn how to be calm-assertive. This has taken years of hard work on myself, many mistakes but trying to seek out the answer. What I discovered also makes you a better leader. The calm assertive leader is what a horse needs but it is also what your team needs.
I have learned to lean into fear rather than run away. Not knowing how to manage or deal with a horse is scary and intimidating, however when you understand that they are seeking a calm assertive leader and they will follow. They need you to be brave and decisive when they are in fear. So too do your team. This is essential when you are in a leadership role and you will always have an element of fear when you need to make decisions that have no clear answer.
Horses have taught me to experiment and play. Because they always give you honest and immediate feedback it’s easy to find where you are at your best. If you are too stern they say no, if you are too soft they say no, if you are not your being authentic they say no. I horse will find comfort when you lead in your own way. This has helped me understand how to interact with different team members differently too.
Learning As a Leader
Learning to embrace learning, and embrace the learning experience. I love learning new things and constantly seeking answers or a new way to approach a problem. There is a place of being curious and open is where the magic happens. You need to find comfort in the awkward learning as will never have all the answers but if you are open to learning you can always find a way to stretch yourself and your team. Trying to keep growing to allow your team the space to improve and grow as well. Horses have made me incredibly curious as the more you understand, the more you want to know. They have opened doors to understand people.
People and Teams Are Different
You have to adjust how you manage people differently. Different people are motivated by different things and the way you manage one person may not get the best out of someone else. Being directive with tasks and steps for one person gets them motivated as they love a list and love a step by step guide. They need to know they are doing a good job because the instructions were clear and they want to follow them to the letter. Trying to manage a creative like that will get the worst out of them. Giving them exact lists and step by step instructions doesn’t allow for any creativity in how to do get a job done. They want to understand the job and then let them go away and get the job done. Well, I had my aha moment managing horses. I have a horse who needs very clear instructions and he will do as he is told, however, I also have a highly emotional mare who needs you to feel an emotional connection before you ask for anything. I am sure we have all had team members like this. One is all business and leaves their personal issues at the door, the other needs to know about your family and the weekend before you can talk about work.
Self Awareness
As a leader you can “fake it till you make it” but with a horse, you cannot lie. I have found a way to be more authentic with all my flaws and get more comfortable with who I am. This space is so much better to lead from.
You Can Be a Great Leader Too
If you don’t have access to a horse and a great trainer to learn how to lead. Focus on being your best version of yourself, and being honest with yourself. The other thing that I would say is to embrace the fear and love the learning.
Living in a world where we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, can have the sad result of us losing ourselves while trying to be more like everyone we see on social media. We find ourselves judging ourselves and others.
In order to live your purpose in life and to be authentically you the first step is to understand who you are. This requires you to be vulnerable and aware of – your weaknesses, your strengths, your beliefs, your goals, your personality, your motivations, and your morals.
These are all the traits that make you who are you and how you respond to the world. Once you understand what you are made of and you have to realize that all of those aspects are capable of changes and improvement.
In this guide, we’ll give you tips on how you can ultimately increase your self-awareness for the greater purpose of becoming the best version of yourself. Self-awareness is one of the key factors in improving your emotional intelligence.
Attracting Awareness
It’s easier said than done, we know! But it all starts with a suggestion to your brain, which can then get it through its filter and allow it to have an impact on how you feel, think and experience.
Let’s have a look at the 4 things you can do to become more self-aware!
1. Get To Know You
Have you ever sat down with yourself and asked the question: “Who am I?”
And more importantly… Would you be able to answer that question if it was asked of you?
The first step in building a healthy awareness of yourself is to understand who you truly are when you look at yourself objectively.
This step is easier if you think about yourself from an outsider perspective. Think about how people who know you well would answer. I find this is the easiest place to start. How would your best friend describe you? How would your family describe you and then you can start to dig a little deeper. Then you can think about your own perceptions of yourself if you were to look at yourself objectively.
During this process, you shouldn’t compare yourself to others, but rather look at yourself as an individual without comparisons while looking at your accomplishments, interests, beliefs, and personality.
Granted, though, you will never be able to map out your entirety on a piece of paper, but you can get to know the most frequently occurring patterns you have, that make the most of your life.
2. Journaling
One of the best ways to keep track of your daily emotions, reactions, and feelings is to keep a journal in which you write down those things.
It’s amazing how putting pen to paper can really put things into perspective;
Writing down your feelings, thoughts, failures and successes of the day will give you a fresh view of how you deal with things.
Journaling is a means of self-reflection to not only see your strengths, but also your weaknesses as it gives you the objective perspective to change bad reactions in the future.
Recording your daily way of acting and reacting will also help you clear your mind and open up space for positive energy.
During our daily lives we can become quite robotic as if we are on autopilot just cruising through our schedules and before we know it, weeks and months have flown by.
To savour every moment of the day, we have to be more mindful of what we do, this means being aware of good and bad habits while enforcing better habits more.
Trying to keep up with a fast-paced world can keep us from enjoying small pleasures like breathing in fresh air or simply going for a stroll around the neighbourhood.
Which tasks during your day give you a sense of serenity, calmness, and happiness?
Is it washing the dishes, meditating, cooking, or exercising?
Ensure that you do these kinds of activities more!
4. Ask For Feedback
Even though it might be a bit scary, it’s important to know what our friends, family, and even colleagues think about us and our behaviour.
Ask those closest to you to give an honest and open, but critical and objective, description of who they see you as, to give you a better idea of what people truly think of you.
Honest feedback from people around us will give us a better idea of who we are and how our behaviour affects our everyday lives.
Obviously, it’s important that you remain open-minded and non-offensive during an honest feedback session from a friend, listening with an open heart might help you recognize something within yourself you never knew was there.
In the end to be more self-aware, switch off your devices and go inward to discover the true you.
Once you make contact with the authentic person inside, you are well on your way to improve relationships around you and your emotional intelligence. You’ll in fact exit the main sequence of emotional and behavioural patterns, opening room for more, new experiences and things.
I have been managing fundraising teams and organisations for more than 20 years. In that time I have always managed growth regardless of boards, the economy, or the cause. I have been doing a lot of reflecting about why some teams can do well during the same time and others can’t. I think it’s A Fundraiser’s Mindset.
When I listen to my peers and colleagues who haven’t done well during the same period there is a myriad of reasons.
Natural disasters affected the appeal
The economy is not doing so well
The board are not engaged in fundraising
Staff turnover
The timing of the campaign was wrong
The list goes on and on…
The blame game. It’s easy to play but it doesn’t allow you to learn. I have certainly played this game a lot as well, but what I have observed is it doesn’t create innovation or a learning environment. If the reason it didn’t work was some external factors completely out of our control there is nothing we can improve on.
So I started reflecting on what are the things that make good fundraisers? I believe it’s a mindset rather than simply a skill. Don’t get me wrong fundraising is absolutely a craft. And a skill I am proud to say I have honed over a long period of time. But what makes it work.
Passion for the Cause
How many charities can you point to and think of that started with just that? A passion and belief that the world needed something else. Sheer passion in what you are doing and belief that you can make a difference is what changes the world. I don’t believe think anything else will. Without an experienced fundraiser in sight or on the team, somehow small inexperienced charities raised millions of dollars. I think most charities start with a passionate founder prepared to do almost anything for the cause. I think almost all charities started this way.
Gratitude
When we talk about a “donor-centric culture” it gets muddy. I have listened to many people explain it, but the critical piece of the puzzle is a sense of gratitude. If you are simply grateful for all the support regardless you tend to create a “donor-centric culture” by default. It is simple, say thank you and mean it. If you treat people that give to you with a sense of we are in the together and gratitude they will come back. Tell them about how they are making a difference. Share the stories of how they are changing the world and link them into their passion.
Remember that is why they are supporting YOU!
Generosity
I have found those who can and do give, are more comfortable in asking others to give. A generous heart and spirit are people that want to lift others up. You will hear them wanting help and support others. They live in a world of abundance not of scarcity. They share information and resources. These are the people you want on your team. They are your helpers and givers.
GSD Crew
We have talked about the hearts and minds but you also need to Get Shit Done. This is where your GSD crew come in. These people are often task or deadline-driven and as such are probably a little less emotional or heart-led. Their satisfaction comes from the completion of a task or event.
However, it is possible to have all of these traits in one person and they are your superstars. Give them the target, reason, and simply get out of their way. A word of caution for your superstars they can burn brightly but they also can burn out.
So to create A Fundraiser’s Mindsetyou need passion, gratitude, generosity, and most of all you need to execute the plan well. I am incredibly proud to be a fundraiser and change the world with my Fundraising Mindset.
I recently had the joy of listening to Shane Fitzsimmons Commissioner of Resilience NSW give a talk recently. And I have a small confession I am a fan! During his talk, he had a brilliant analogy for leadership and for your teams which I thought was incredibly relatable. Flat tyres are like leadership.
Your underperforming staff are like a flat tyre and sometimes your flat tyre just needs to be pumped up. It’s lost some pressure but nothing is fundamentally wrong with the tyre it just needs some air. Or your tyre has a puncture, but it is fixable it needs a patch and to be pumped up and can be refitted back on. But sometimes your tyre has blown out and simply just needs to be replaced.
When he explained this a bit further the flat tyre also can have different consequences. A flat tyre if you are on a unicycle, is different to a flat tyre on the front wheel of a fully laden passenger bus.
What does this mean for your leadership you need to respond to your underperforming staff like flat tyres. Sometimes you need to decide if they simply need a pump up or are they a complete blowout on a fully laden school bus. You as the leader need to respond to your underperforming team the same way as a flat tyre. Who needs a pump and who needs to be replaced because they are dangerous. I was thinking about the stressors of COVID and teams. I know there are a lot of leaders at the moment who are pumping up tyres. I am wondering how many leaders in workplaces are trying to pump up tyres that just need to be replaced. During this time when teams are remote, it is like having a faulty pressure gauge. it is harder to get clarity and focus on which of your tyres are flat.
Shane is a cool calm leader who was brilliant during the black summer bush fires of 2019-2020. I tuned in on a daily basis to listen to his updates as it was something that affected me and my family. We had a fire front near our house for months.
He was plain speaking, direct about when we needed to be concerned, gave the facts. But he also cared. I think that many of our modern leaders could learn how to manage a crisis from Shane Fitzsimmons. His authenticity and empathy were genuine and this was his part of his advice, show up, show you care and be authentic.
His talk on community engagement and leadership just made me admire the man even more.
Have you ever experienced a sound or smell that transports you to a different time and place in your life? Well, that moment happened to me today.
I have horses with colds at the moment. I don’t know how, but one of them got a cold and now they all have it. It feels a little bit like when your child brings home those disgusting germs from school or daycare and then spreads to everyone.
So I am mixing up my horse feeds with every supplement that could possibly make them better at dinner time. No one is really enjoying the “fancy and expensive stuff” in their food and not eating it.
Ahh. But I have a solution molasses! Horses love it and it disguises all the yucky stuff.
Well, this is when I was immediately transported to a different time and place in my life. I opened the tin of molasses and the smell made my grandmother appear right with me, to a time and a place when I was a very young girl bringing back to life such fond memories.
I am about 6 years old standing in her small country kitchen. She was telling me I needed to have a teaspoon of molasses because it was good for me. My grandmother used to swear by it. Everyone, man and beast would be given molasses regardless of whether they needed it or not.
The smell made me smile and reminds me of a time place and moment that was special to me.
My grandmother passed away earlier this year and this smell reminded me of the power of those small moments that make life so memorable.
I wonder if this has happened to you? Remember your loved ones will remember those small mundane moments just as much as big grand gestures. It’s reminded me to create a memory worth remembering.
Dani Lombard, is an amazing leader. This Leadership Whisperer Podcast episode was fun and a little embarrassing for me, Dani has put the challenge out of her interviewing me. So stay tuned for the next episode.
Dani is full of insights and very different from some of our previous guests. If you are interested in understanding what it takes to be an entrepreneur and still smile at the end of the day this is one episode you are not going to want to miss. She is an international PR veteran with over 20 years of experience in running campaigns and making brands shine.
Dani is an incredible entrepreneur, starting her own PR agency Dani Lombard Public Relations when she was just 28. Since then, her company merged with a Melbourne agency, taking on the same name – Soda Communications.
Running her own agency, she has learned a lot about running a business and motivating teams.
What is Dani’s insight into what is leadership?
Good leaders care.
Leadership is hard to describe but you know when see it and you feel it when you are around a good leader. Behaving and acting in way that inspires the people around you to be better. In addition it is some one who is good at creating a strong community.
You will want to listen to this episode to find out more about what Dani thinks about leadership. Shares her personal stories about meeting Richard Branson. She shares her vulnerability in talking about managing people and the reality of how hard it actually is, and it is an ongoing challenge.
What it is like to be a woman in leadership and the trap of falling into feeling like you need to appear powerful adopting those masculine traits.
In this interview, she also talks about not taking yourself too seriously.
Dani’s recommended reading list
Culture Fix , How to create a great place to work, by Colin D Ellis
