Is it the pursuit of making more money or is it the pursuit of making more memories?
What are you making money for? I was recently talking to a business owner who decided to take the leap and be an entrepreneur. It is obviously no easy feat to go out to work for yourself. It requires a lot of money and a lot of time so you really need to be sure that this is what you want to do. You also want to make sure that the sacrifices you are making will be worth it. He is really doing a great job at it too. Having walked some of this journey with him initially his motivation was to have more time? But I asked is that why you should start a business. At our recent catch up he said it was to make more money. How much is enough money? What do you want the money for? It was this conversation that started me thinking about what is my purpose is it about making more money or is it about making more memories.
Where are you Spending Time?
This is something I think about how should I spend my time and what really brings me joy. My COVID experience has made this something I think about a lot more.
When you understand the things that bring you joy it is easier to allow life to pull you in certain directions. It is easier to be open to seeing the serendipitous moments too. I found myself being conscious about finding those moments you need to spend a little more time enjoying.
For me, it is small things that are often powerful;
An extra 5 minutes in bed in the morning enjoying an embrace from my husband. It is the sense of safety, relaxation and pure love. If I didn’t stop at that moment to take that in, to breathe in deeply I would miss it. I realise how lucky I am, and I try to take time to be grateful for life’s greatest joys and without a sense of gratitude I could miss it. I could easily get out of bed and get right in the busyness of the day.
The moment when I look out my window and know I have 3 incredible horses in my backyard. This was a childhood dream that I didn’t think was possible. When I go out in the paddock or look out my window it is about taking a mental picture and being present.
I love the mornings when my husband makes me poached eggs on toast. They are the most incredible poached eggs and no one else can make them as well. It is because every bit of them are done with love. The eggs come freshly laid by my free-range chooks and my husband knows how to poach the perfect egg. It is my favourite weekend breakfast along with the great coffee. I look forward to these breakfasts and I simply just savour the simplicity and perfection of the meal.
It is when my horse will master a new skill or something we have worked on together seems to come together finally. The time and hours put in it is those moments that provide me with elation.
Moments with my kids when there is laughter and when there is something new that they have mastered too. I have loved watching them grow into amazing humans.
The Joy of Giving
If you have ever had the opportunity to give someone something or do something that has really helped them, changed their day, or their life, you understand how powerful that is for you. There is something incredibly powerful in those moments where you can feel someones gratitude for making their life a little bit better. I love those memories these are ones I put on replay when I need to feel good as they always make me smile. I really love finding the perfect gift for someone.
Who do you want to be with?
Think about it: who would you rather spend your time with? Someone who is making money and spending all their free time doing so? Or someone who is making memories doing fun things with friends and family? Why do I ask this? Because in my experience, the people who are truly successful (and happy) have a balance between work and play. They don’t let work consume their whole lives. There are other things that matter to them besides making money. That’s not to say making more money can make you a lot happier than not having any money. I think that financial freedom is very powerful and being able to live a comfortable lifestyle certainly makes me a lot happier than being homeless.
Making More Money
I came from a working-class background. I know what it is like not to have money. I spent many years of my life making more money working harder than anyone else so that my children wouldn’t know what it is like to go without. I sacrificed a lot along the way and I still wonder whether it has been worth it all. I spent my time making more money it didn’t bring me the happiness I thought I would. I wanted to drive the fancy car, own my house and have fancy shoes. I guess what I have learned through this process is more things don’t make you happy. I have filled my life with having things and now I understand that people and places are what we remember on our deathbed, not the fancy things. It certainly won’t be my expensive coffee making coming to my bedside when I am sick and need someone.
Deathbed Moments
This is a profound question that was given to me by a young man who had too much life experience for someone his age. He had such a great time at Leading Together that he described it as a “deathbed memory”. I have started using this statement as my measuring stick and thinking is this a “deathbed memory” and I have started to realise it is the small things that are the most important. Having lost too many precious people too young you realise that things you miss the most are the simple things, not the grand gesture moments.
When you think about those precious life moments that you reflect on in your final hours what do you think that are they going to be? Making more money or making more memories.
This was a question I was recently asked to me. My enthusiastic response was “it can work for anyone if you are willing”. Now I know that sounds like it is a throwaway line, but as I started to reflect on the life-changing outcomes that I have seen first-hand I genuinely believe this statement.
Having worked with people of different ages and stages of life, and very different walks of life. I believe it is true. Working with very senior executive leaders to young vulnerable teens, I have seen it work every time.
What is Equine Assisted Learning?
We make change happen by creating unique workshops based on spending time with our horses. Our horses can help you shift your perspective in a very short period of time. It works because it is so out of the box and experiential. The horse experience helps individuals think differently, feel differently, and act differently. . Equine Assisted Learning is a growing trend and one that is spreading like wildfire across the globe. There are many people who have been using this form of learning for years, but it has only recently received recognition in the mainstream media. I wanted to share some amazing outcomes that explain why I continue to learn and offer my time in doing this.
How the Journey Started For Me
I was so lucky I got to spend some time with an incredible horseman Greg Powell. He opened my eyes to what was possible. He had started a charity called Kalandan Foundation and was working with very vulnerable teenagers and made a documentary about it called Wild Horses Wild Kids. At the time I was working for a charity called Sir David Martin Foundation and as part of what we funded was the brumby program with Greg Powell. What I witnessed during this time changed me forever. I was awestruck, excited and so curious as to how traumatised teenagers were changing before my eyes. I really had no idea what was going on. It felt at the time like I was watching a magic show. I could see changes happening I just couldn’t figure out how or what was happening.
I was asking so many questions and watching with a newly found curiosity trying to figure out what was going on right in front of me. Well, with my curiosity sparked I went down a rabbit hole that has changed my whole world. I am a very different person now, from the one that started this journey.
So many things have been put in my path from that moment until now and too many serendipitous moments for me to ignore. I have met some of the most incredible horse people and leaders from whom I have taken so much of my learnings. I also have had horses that have challenged and pushed me to find better ways. I have also pursued the dream by getting qualified as an equine-assisted learning facilitator.
The Leadership Session That Changed Everything
I am engaged in a leadership group and we were sharing stories and issues. One of the people in the group asked “if I could run horse whispering sessions for leaders” no hesitation I said “Sure thing”. And moved on with the conversation and didn’t give it a second thought. Not thinking anything more about that conversation, a few weeks later I was asked when I would be available for 8 senior leaders to come out to my place to run that session we talked about. I could feel that nagging inner voice telling me that I can’t possibly do this, and then, the panicset in. What on earth had I said yes to? I couldn’t run a session for other senior leaders. What would they say? How could I show my face if it didn’t work?
Or could I?
Then I realised I wouldn’t know if I didn’t at least try. So I did and the rest is history.
There were so many incredible things that happened that day for me and for everyone there. It was a moment that made me believe I really can do this.
Outcomes
Having worked with now a number of vulnerable young people, women with anxiety and senior leaders I realise that this can work for anyone. Here are a few of my favourite life-altering moments.
A young man with anger management issues, Aspergers and a raft of other complex issues came to do a 4-week session. He learned from my horses that “people listen to me when I am being nice and not angry. I can get what I want from being nicer people” This was a major turning point for this young man who at the time was unable to live at home partly due to his anger management issues.
A young girl who was struggling with her mental health and significant relationships with her family had almost completely broken down. She learned from horses how to make friends and be open to the possibility of letting others into her life.
A senior leader who was authoritarian in his approach to those around him learned from my horses how using fear and intimidation as a motivational technique felt to those around him. This changed the way he started dealing with his family. He began to have a healthy relationship with his teenage daughter.
A senior leader who was too apologetic and trying to be friends with everyone learned how to be calm and assertive in his approach. Amazingly his large team of staff started listening to him and he began to get results from a team who were disengaged prior.
A young anxious woman who was struggling, with everyday life and finding everything difficult. After going through family counselling, psychologists, medication when I met her she had given up. Nothing had really worked. Well, I can say my horses performed again after a couple of sessions we had a different person showing up she is smiling and engaged and positive about her life. My horses helped her understand her boundaries and see she needed some persistence to get through.
An anxiety-filled woman who really struggled to overcome imposter syndrome, now leading a team of macho men in a male-dominated workshop. Horses gave her the confidence to be her authentic self and find power in that space.
Equine Assisted Learning Can Help You
These experiences and so many more have changed my life. I continue to see what is possible. The incredible healing that my horses can provide from deep-seated trauma is something I don’t fully understand how. I just know it does. I can see my horse go into a calm lowered energy space and how she starts to transform those around her. It is something that is really special to see and feel. The change in the people in her presence. They explain it as “I just feel better”. If you don’t know it is happening you would miss it. I have begun to recognise the look on her face it is a different space for her to hold.
There is no noise, there is no movement but I know when she is providing healing she is moving mountains deep within people.
So yes I do believe that regardless of what is happening for you in your life Equine Assisted Learning can help you.
Do you have specific hopes and dreams that you wish to achieve one day, but have no idea how to accomplish them? Let us give you 3 actionable steps to achieving success in ANY area of your life.
If that’s the case, well, you are not alone! MOST people tend to have dreams and aspirations, but only see the vision of their dream fulfilled, without being able to create a clear pathway to actually achieving it.
Many people go through life with dreams of becoming something greater than what they are now, and unfortunately many of those dreams never come true, because people don’t know what steps to take to achieve success.
1-2-3 – Success!
If you are serious about making a change and actually achieving your dreams and goals, there are things to put in place and consider, as well as actions to take.
Mostly, success depends on a couple of things – Having a clear vision, creating a concrete plan, setting a timeframe & staying consistent and dedicated.
Let’s have a look at each of those factors individually!
Step 1: Clear Vision of Your Goals
One of the main reasons why people are unsuccessful in achieving their goals is because they don’t have a clear vision of what they want to achieve – get your pen and paper and start brainstorming!
Brainstorm
Before you start writing down your exact goals, you need to be more clear on what it is you want to achieve.
You can do this by brainstorming, researching, and spitballing some ideas of the industry you want to move into and what it will take to make your dream a reality.
This will help your brain decide on the logical pathway to take towards achieving those goals.
Write it Down
Write down everything that you want to achieve and prioritize. During this process, you should also consider which ones you really feel passionate about.
Goals can be written down in the following format:
By (this date), I want to (goal that you want to achieve).
Example: By January 2022, I want to have another school program up and running.
One at a Time
Break down your goals in different categories from most achievable to more difficult to achieve, and start working your way from the ground up.
Avoid multitasking and simply, focus on one goal at a time, though you may have multiple goals that give you inspiring visions in your mind.
Step 2: Set A Concrete Plan
Once you have a clear vision of your goal or dream, you have to start working towards analyzing what it will actually take to achieve.
Analyze your clear vision in all of its aspects and details and try to acknowledge every step along the way that will require your attention and resources.
Create a CLEAR plan of action that is as detailed as possible – Include every asset, product, expense, as well as all the steps you have to take, to get to this end goal.
Step 3: Set Up a Timeframe
Deadlines, although pressing, can be just what you need to keep you on track. Setting a strict time frame in which you have to achieve certain goals will enhance your chances of success.
Wondering how you can do this? Here’s how!
Scheduling
Be very specific when it comes to time framing, buy a calendar and write down certain hours you’ll be devoting to certain tasks.
This is what we refer to as “micro-management” and it is crucial for achieving ANY goal whatsoever.
You MUST know when and what you will be doing, on your way to the greater goal you are chasing.
Track Progress
Your end goal (the more difficult goal to achieve) will probably be a long-term commitment, and therefore it will be easier to reach if you break it down into smaller, more achievable, goals that can be tracked on your schedule.
Track what results your actions yield, assess how that relates to the end goal and make any adjustments if need be.
Delegate Tasks
Stick to your strengths and delegate smaller tasks to someone else – Freelancers are great to hire for one-off projects like digital designing, content writing, or bookkeeping.
Doing this will help you manage your own creative energy and put it towards the things you’re good at, thus helping you achieve your goal faster.
Step 4: Consistency and Motivation
No path to glory ever came without any hiccups – what makes the difference is how you deal with those drawbacks and whether you push through tough times.
Focus by Removal
It’s easier for you to achieve your goals when there aren’t any distractions, simply because you are able to induce a laser-like focus!
Try and get rid of anything that might distract you from focusing on the task at hand, including constant screen time, unhealthy foods, or toxic relationships.
Find Your Motivation
In order for you to be consistent in your pursuit to success, you need to have motivation.
So, ask yourself ‘What is it that motivates me?’ and hold on to that reason when you face difficult times on your journey.
And remember, though motivation is important, the primary driver of success is DISCIPLINE, because it allows you to take the necessary action even when you don’t have the motivation to do so.
Success!
Tour success stories are different from those of others, which is exactly why you should stay focused on your own journey, rather than comparing your path to others – for some, being a good wife and mother is their success while for others owning a multi-million dollar company is.
As long as you have a clear vision of what you want to achieve and schedule the steps in a neat and achievable timeframe, there is no slowing you down!
Now get out there and put in the time and effort towards your successful future.
Recently I was at a leadership forum and casually asked a colleague, “Have you got any plans over Christmas? Are you going away?” and he simply said, “I am resting hard”.
Well my first response was to burst out laughing and then the more I thought about this statement the more I thought that this is genius!
We all work hard, we play hard, we wear this like a badge of honour. Our exhaustion is seen as a status symbol. When you ask someone how are you, how often do you hear the response “busy”.
What COVID has brought home to me is burnout is real and so many people I know have got major health issues from not resting. It is simply not a great culture where we take pride in our hustle and collective fatigue. It’s not ok, and we shouldn’t keep on soldiering on through our exhaustion.
Resting
“Resting” is a simple concept that can take some time to master. It’s the art of disconnecting from your work, friends, and whatever else so you can relax and rejuvenate. If you don’t rest, you’ll burn out.
We see resting as a soft option and feel guilty for resting because we have been told if we are not busy, we are failing. But the opposite is so true. Resting more will actually give you more energy and make you feel better and perform better.
Sleep is the best performance-enhancing drug ever!! I have experienced extreme ends of the rest continuum. Ask any new mum with an unsettled child what lack of sleep does to you. Any parent who is sleep-deprived will tell you emphatically how much better he/she feels with a decent nights sleep.
But it isn’t just sleep that is important for rest. You need to create habits that allow you to switch off. The first step to resting more is getting into a habit of resting every day. This will prevent you from being overworked and burnt out. The second step to rest is using exercises like yoga and meditation to help you relax and reset your mind. They are beneficial to both physical and mental health, but also help us enjoy life more.
Resting and recharging your batteries is about ensuring you take time to do the things that give you energy and fill you up. Everyone has a place, hobby or exercise which gives them joy. Mindfulness comes to people in so many different ways. It could be as simple as a walk around the block with the dog.
Leaders Need Rest Too
Even the most hard-charging business leaders need time to recharge their batteries. We all know that leading a company requires long hours and tons of energy, but it takes much more than that to stay sharp and motivated.
Just as a machine needs maintenance, so does the human body. Our bodies require rest and relaxation in order to function at the highest level. Some people take a lot of time off, while others prefer to get away from their daily grind by getting outdoors and exercising with friends. Some people prefer to take an hour to reflect on their goals with a quiet walk around the block. Or maybe it is scheduling your regular yoga session.
Without rest, you cannot find the creativity and mental function required to solve complex problems. You will find you have more capacity to help and support everyone around you if you help yourself first.
Rest Guilt-Free
Today, most people feel guilty when they take time off. It’s as if the world is going to stop spinning and explode if they aren’t working. They have an underlying belief that time spent away from work is wasted time, which only causes more stress. But what if I told you that taking a break actually makes you more productive? That’s right! When you take time off, your mind is more relaxed and ready for work. And there’s more good news! Taking regular breaks will eventually make you more productive and allow you to get more done in less time
Work at Resting
Imagine if we put as much time and effort into learning how to rest as we did learning a new skill. Resting Hard is a concept that requires effort, it requires conscious time, put it in the diary. Prioritise it. Your body and mind will thank you. Your family will thank you. But also your staff will thank you for bringing your best version to work. We are not built to squeeze more into our days. Even God had to take a day off. So if it is good enough for him then I might just work on doing it too.
So for now I am going to work on simply “resting hard”.
Here are the top 5 ways to boost your emotional intelligence in order to find success. If you want to succeed in both your professional and personal life, there are a broad range of skills that can help. However, the emerging research is emotional intelligence is the most important skill you need to develop. Your vision and fresh and creative ideas are critical aspects of success. Leadership requires a number of human skills as well as technical skills for success.
Great leaders make themselves and their personal improvement a lifelong project. They actively seek out learning. They also seek out people who will tell them the truth about how they come across to others. In addition, tell them areas where they can make improvements. They look for organizations that will accommodate them or spend money on a coach who will provide them with honest feedback. Great leaders recognize that they are a work in progress and are always looking for ways to improve.
Develop Your Listening Skills
Good leaders are always aware of how essential listening skills are for success. They recognize that everyone has the desire to be heard. Not only do you receive more crucial information when you develop your listening skills, but you are better able to connect with others by picking up meanings and messages through nonverbal cues.
Show a Genuine Interest in Others
Not only do emotionally intelligent people learn the names of everyone that works at their company, but they also make it a point to find out as much about others as possible. They strive to find out what matters to them, whether it is their family, special interests, or hobbies. Showing a personal interest in those around you show others that they are valued as people, rather than just cogs in the machine.
Develop Your Ability to Manage Emotions
Developing your ability to manage not only yours but others’ emotions is an important skill to have. Leaders that possess high emotional intelligence can process information and respond only after they’ve thought about the situation. Emotionally intelligent people can pick up the underlying feelings behind the words spoken.
Develop a Strong Sense of Appreciation
Great leaders, with high emotional intelligence, are always appreciative and aware that they have others to thank for them to where they are. One way you can develop more gratitude is to keep a gratitude journal and write down three things you are grateful for every day. It helps to maintain a positive attitude and their motivation high throughout the day.
High emotional intelligence is an essential aspect of success. Incorporate these five tips into your life and you can help boost your emotional intelligence.
The beliefs that we hold are just patterns that we’ve learned and developed over the years. There are a number of things throughout our lives that play a role in shaping our beliefs. Some of these might be supporting and nurturing, while others might be roadblocks on our paths to achieving happiness. Positive affirmations are a great way to change the barriers into supportive and encouraging truths. You can use positive affirmations to keep you moving forward. Here are four useful tips for writing positive affirmations that work.
Write Down Your Ideas
You need to take the time to determine what areas of your life you want to improve. Write down your ideas on how you would like your life to look and areas that you want to improve. After you’ve written down your thoughts, take a look at each of them and write down a few positive statements that reflect your vision for your future life.
Use the Present Tense
When you write down your affirmations, you want to be sure to write them in the present tense. Write them down as though you are experiencing everything you desire right now. You want to avoid using words like, within the next two months. . . because every time you use this affirmation you are saying to yourself and the universe that you are still two months away from achieving your goal. After you use this affirmation for one month, you will still be saying, within two months, which tells the universe and your mind that you haven’t gotten any closer to achieving your goals.
Focus on What You Want
You need to write your affirmations in a way that forces them to focus on what you want in life, rather than what you are trying to eliminate or avoid in your life. For example, rather than writing I’m not addicted to alcohol, a better option would be to write something like, I am completely free from alcohol. If you aren’t sure about how to write an affirmation in the positive, then you can imagine that you’ve already accomplished whatever it is that you want to achieve and describe yourself in that positive light.
Writing positive affirmations is both an empowering and exciting experience. Learn how to enjoy the process and try not to get caught up in the details of what you’re writing. Have fun with the process and try to relax.
