The impacts of excessive stress affect your ability to lead and also your team’s performance. As a leader, it’s natural to experience a certain level of stress when managing a team. However, there’s a fine line between healthy stress and stressful leadership. When leaders become excessively stressed and create a culture of stress within their team, it can negatively impact the team’s performance and productivity.
Everyone at some point has worked under a manager who handles stress poorly. They respond by “kicking the cat”. The “kicking the cat” analogy refers to the effect of emotional contagion. Anger and anxiety pass from senior management to subordinates, from the powerful to the weak, and eventually to the bottom, the most vulnerable, who have no place to vent their anger and who then become the ultimate victims.
The impact of stressful leadership on team performance can be felt in so many different ways but none of them are helpful.
High-stress levels among leaders can lead to several negative consequences for their team members not just emotional contagion and mental health concerns but reduce the capacity and capability of the team. Below are a few ways in which stressful leadership might impact team performance:
Reduced Productivity
Leaders who constantly exhibit stressful behaviors may cause their team members to lose trust in their abilities. This lack of trust can then lead to reduced productivity and reduced morale. When you are in these team environments you see symptoms like the blame game, gossiping, and presenteeism. Without faith or confidence in leadership, staff will be unable to perform at their best. If the leadership is not demonstrating confidence in the vision and decisions staff themselves become unsure. Staff really struggle to be their best if they feel that leaders themselves are struggling to perform.
Decreased Creativity
Teams that operate under high-stress environments may not be as receptive to new ideas and may lack creativity. Stressful leaders may inadvertently stifle creativity by not allowing their team members to think outside the box.
Higher Turnover
Stressful work environments may eventually cause some team members to become burned out. This would ultimately lead to them leaving the team and even the company. High turnover can lead to lost revenue, decreased productivity, and increased employee recruitment costs. Even staff who stay in this environment generally won’t be the high performers. It is the staff who can fly under the radar and simply turn up.
Tips for Reducing Stressful Leadership
It’s important to recognize the signs of stressful leadership and work to reduce it. Here are a few tips for reducing stressful environments for your team:
Create transparency
Leaders should be transparent about the effects their actions might cause on their team. Open communication helps to create a positive work environment. Owning mistakes and using this space to create learning moments can not only create transparency but also provide ways to relieve some stressful moments.
Encourage team bonding
Encourage your team to bond and create connections through events and team-building activities. Fun can relieve stress and shared stories. Connection and trust are essential ingredients for high-performing teams. Team bonding is more than just one event it is essential that this is a learned skill and one that is continued to enhance culture.
Support autonomy and creativity
Giving team members the autonomy to make their decisions can increase creativity and lead to greater productivity. True leadership is about empowering staff to work independently and allowing them opportunities to make their own decisions and mistakes.
Celebrate the team’s work
Recognizing and celebrating the team’s accomplishments can create a positive work environment and increase team morale.
In conclusion, it’s necessary for leaders to be mindful of how their leadership styles can influence their entire team’s dynamics. Creating an environment that is less stressful and more open can help increase the team’s performance and productivity.
Fear. Anxiety. Dry mouth. Reactive. Upset in the pit of your stomach. Worry. Heart racing. What if… Emotional. Exhausted. As I sit and reflect on the reactions of my mind and body during periods of personal growth they are all very uncomfortable states. I keep telling myself it’s where the magic happens. It is pushing through the discomfort. The growth is on the edges.
I have personally been in a zone of discomfort for some time now. And thinking, why do I continue to do this to myself?
Discomfort
My current story for context is I have recently packed up my entire life and moved interstate, leaving behind a well-established network, family and friends. Whilst I realise I am not the first person to do this I didn’t fully appreciate how difficult it would be.
Finding myself without a vet for my horses almost tipped me over the edge when Peggy got an abscess and was in extreme discomfort. I just wanted someone with a degree to look at my horse and tell me it was going to be ok. Instead, I sat sobbing in my paddock face buried in my hands sitting in the dirt beside my horse. After trying unsuccessfully to get three different vets out to look at my horse, I felt defeated and my head was filled with negative thoughts.
It wasn’t just that moment but lots of smaller hard moments too. There are many time-consuming tasks in finding a dentist, doctor, hairdresser, mechanic, and most importantly a good barrister. People that you need to trust to give you good advice and support. Your network and community. These take time to build and I am trying to do it all whilst taking on a new all consuming job.
These simple things are things we take for granted and don’t use our conscious thinking, they become our routine, like finding the best route to work in the morning. What I have realised that all these tasks become mentally exhausting until we build new mental pathways in our brains.
Now, as I sit facing another day with a daunting to-do list. I am reminding myself it’s in the discomfort that we experience growth. Our personal growth happens on the edges. I know this fact to be true.
It is going through and surviving some of the darkest moments in my life that I have realised what I am really capable of.
As I reflect on all those who I have helped going through extraordinary circumstances, this is the common thread. It’s about understanding that feeling of discomfort is ok. Sometimes it’s great!
Controlling our environment
I am not sure why we have been trained to believe that we think life should be easy and we should always be happy. It’s not real life. Our curated world on social media shows us the highlight reels of everyone else’s existence. The advertising and marketing messages we are served up are clear if you have “this product or service” you will be happy and all your problems will be solved. You should be comfortable. And what happens to all of us after hearing and believing these messages constantly is that we move away from any level of discomfort at any cost. We control our environment to the point that we don’t experience discomfort. We live in air conditioning, don’t get wet, don’t get dirty, and somehow everything around us need to be perfect and controlled. Why? And how did we get here?
Feeling positive emotions all the time. It’s simply not true, nor is it possible. It’s actually unhealthy.
So, my revolution and evolution came when I started changing how I thought about that anxious and fearful feeling. It matters. Because being scared and uncomfortable is where you learn and where the magic happens.
Personal growth happens on the edges, it often happens when we step outside of our comfort zones and face situations that make us uncomfortable. When we are uncomfortable, we are often forced to confront our fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs, which are the catalyst for personal growth.
Find ways to challenge yourself:
I have found when I step into the space to do things that I am not comfortable with, I find new experiences and learning opportunities. You learn new things about yourself.
Overcoming obstacles:
This is the best way to build resilience. No book or course is going to give you better skills than when you face obstacles and challenges that make you uncomfortable. Learning problem-solving skills and patience is developed through practice. So the best the best possible way to develop your problem-solving skills is through overcoming obstacles.
Learning from mistakes:
When you make mistakes or fail, it can be uncomfortable. Let’s be honest no one likes making mistakes but it can also provide invaluable learning experiences that help us grow and improve. The quickest way to learn and improve is through mistakes, embrace them.
Developing new perspectives:
Understanding others happens when you step out of your comfort zones. Have you ever gone to another country and experienced a different culture or a different lifestyle? It is where you can gain new perspectives and insights, compassion and understanding come through a new perspective. This helps us to grow and develop as individuals.
When we face our fears and overcome challenges, we can develop confidence in ourselves and our abilities, which can help us grow and achieve our goals.
It’s important to remember that personal growth can be uncomfortable at times, but it’s also a necessary part of life. By embracing discomfort and facing our fears, anything is possible.
Sitting with colleagues I have heard it so many times. It’s a common saying among CEOs “it’s lonely at the top.” But why? This really got me thinking. From the outside looking in a CEO has it made, the great car, house, amazing job, meeting incredible people, great salary and everyone looks up to them, and they are celebrated.
As it turns out that the vast majority of CEOs feel isolated and alone in their role. According to the Harvard Business Review, over half of CEOs express feelings of loneliness, 61% of which believe loneliness hinders their job performance. There are a few reasons for this. Firstly, as the CEO you are ultimately responsible for everything that happens. This is a lot of pressure, and it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one who can solve the problem or the only one who cares about the organisation and the livelihoods of those who work for you. The position at the top is a 24/7 job, there is no off. The number of times I tried to take a holiday only for a media issue or a confidential legal matter to arise. I could almost guarantee on the first or second day of my leave would be the dreaded phone call.
There is pressure to be on and to perform all the time and now there is a blurring with social media channels and your personal life is also your professional life. So you feel like you are constantly under pressure to perform at the highest level and maintain your position. And heaven forbid if you make a mistake, it’s often magnified because you’re in the spotlight. There is no room for error or to be human at the top.
I know that while you have worked incredibly hard to get where you are, so why is it then, it’s also likely that you feel incredibly lonely at the top. No one truly understands this unique position unless you have been at the top.
Why CEO Loneliness Matters
Loneliness costs Australia an estimated $2.7bn each year due to adverse health outcomes and has worsened throughout the Covid pandemic, according to a new report measuring social connectedness. Loneliness can make you physically sick. I am sure if you think hard enough you will know of a CEO whose job made them unwell. For some of them, it was simply loneliness. How many of them had a position at the top and then you saw their health decline or saw how the position aged them? There is a lot of evidence that loneliness is a significant health concern but also it affects our ability to make good decisions. Social isolation and loneliness affect mental health, behaviours, sleep patterns, physical health and our ability to deal with stress. So why are our boards and CEOs not talking about this topic? Why is not just part of the CEO’s salary to have the support that they need to do their job well? There is a feeling of shame about feeling lonely.
If we want thriving organisations, looking after and supporting CEOs to perform at their peak, should be a priority. In reality, we expect CEOs to be strong and resilient and we want them to be able to cope with significant amounts of pressure. It’s not fair or reasonable to expect those around the CEOs like our boards and management to be that support as they don’t really want to have a conversation about their vulnerabilities and that they are feeling lonely.
Yes CEOs Are Resilient
They got to the top because they are emotionally resilient and often able to play their cards close to their chest. CEOs can often handle stress better and for longer, meaning we have a tendency to bend under pressure rather than break. And then we bounce back. This is why people in senior leadership roles managed to be a CEO in the first place. However, the research is clear that they are feeling lonely and this has a significant impact on their health and their ability to perform at their peak. CEOs need a constant deep well of resilience and ongoing ability to cope. Issues that come to the CEO are often too complex or difficult for anyone else in the organisation to solve. So these decisions have consequences. Yes, CEOs have resilience but they are also human too.
The Perks
There are many perks to being the CEO as some of them are just simply heady. The salary, the title, the ability to make decisions and to be recognised for them, to really make a difference and to build something. You have access to information and to people. The position allows those around you to look up to you because of the important role you hold. There are many reasons that CEOs work as hard as they do for the recognition and the power that comes with the position. It is important to understand that there is another side to this and it comes with a price.
CEOs Need a Support System
If I have learned anything from COVID it is that social connections matter. Our relationships matter whether it’s family or friends they are all critical to our ability to cope and succeed.
As a CEO, it can be easy to think we’re supposed to be able to do everything ourselves, but the truth is, no one can. And the sooner we can tap into a broad support system, the sooner we reduce the sense of isolation and loneliness. Not one person needs to be everything to you in your support network for example your romantic partner shouldn’t be your only support. But you need people around you that can be trusted.
Suggestions
Your board of directors and the chairperson should provide you with opportunities to debrief and to understand what is keeping you awake at night
Your management team should also be a team to support you
Your romantic partner probably knows you better than anyone else
A close friend and or family know you outside of work
A coach, mentor or paid professional to support you personally
A mental health professional to help you deal with the stress
CEO Network or group
This is not an exhaustive list but you need a team around you to support you when you need it. I personally found having a CEO network, (2020 exchange) of like minded people incredibly valuable. We were in different industries but often faced similar issues. There was no judgement and ability to share and learn from each other.
It is important that you use different people in your support network for different things. My close friends and family are for my silly moments and letting loose, lets be honest not everyone needs to see that. What ever you use your support network for it is essential for your wellbeing, happiness and success. Being at the top comes with a lot of advantages but it also comes with some unique challenges.
Get connected and dont be afraid to admit your lonely at the top because you are not alone.
Ever felt dog tired and just needed a little something to pick you up and make you feel better? Most people buy a new dress, maybe a new lipstick. Well, my retail therapy was buying a horse. After years of not owning a horse with nowhere to put one, I decided that the only thing going to make me feel better was buying a horse. I look back now and I am grateful to my ever-forgiving and patient husband who tried to be the rational voice. He was solid until I showed him a picture of a horse called “Ben” (my husband’s name) whilst emotionally explaining that this would make me so happy. He reluctantly agreed that I could call and find out if he was still available.
Well as it turns out he was gone but by then my husband had agreed to the idea and in my usual fashion, I was all in. I hunted around for a “cheap horse” because we couldn’t afford an expensive one. I found just the one and he sounded perfect. A gorgeous chestnut gelding off-the-track thoroughbred would be great for beginners. I immediately packed everyone up in the car to go and just look at him right away.
Initial warnings
In hindsight, I should have known that there would be an issue with this beautiful horse. The person I bought him from only rode him for a short time and she wasn’t comfortable cantering him. He was already caught and saddle up when we went to look at him, there were so many red flags but, I was hooked. He was the first horse I went to see in person and I just had to have him.
Now I have bought a horse but, I have no way to transport him, no place to put him, no vet checks, no saddle, not a brush, not even a lead rope. I had nothing but the idea that I wanted a horse. Well, I solved all those problems quick smart and bought him home to an agistment property that I didn’t even visit. My cheap horse is now getting quite expensive and I haven’t even done anything with him yet.
I should have realised again that there would be problems when the farrier comes out to the property to do his shoes he says to me “he still has race shoes on, he is not long off the track!” and “this is your beginner horse?” Ohh no… But what would he know, I had just bought the horse of my dreams. This was a dream come true and no one was going to dampen my spirits.
More issues
Well, “H” as he became to be known, had a couple of issues. He would buck every time you asked for a canter, he wouldn’t get on a horse float, he pulled away when being lunged and was terrified of so many things. At times he was simply dangerous to be around.
One of the many injuries
After numerous broken bones and hospital visits and so many falls from this horse. I knew I needed help. My dream was turning into a nightmare.
H plays Santa’s helper
I got two different horse trainers to teach him to load on a float. Because they could get him on once but that was it. I wanted to be able to take my fantastic horse out of the paddock. I wanted to compete and go to the riding club and enjoy time with him. I knew I needed help but I didn’t know what help I needed.
So this is how my journey with horses and emotional intelligence started. It started with a horse who I loved but couldn’t do anything with and thought someone else could fix him.
What I have discovered over the years is that to “fix a horse” I needed to fix myself. So the journey begins.
There are countless ways to improve your overall life. However, the chances are high that you’re overlooking one of the major areas: your emotional intelligence. Improving your emotional intelligence can create a significant difference when it comes to your happiness and success. If you’re looking to increase your emotional intelligence, here are 5 ways you try.
Find Stress-Relieving Techniques
One of the easiest ways to improve your emotional intelligence is to determine your sources of stress and find a way to limit them. Stress-relief measures, like meditation, deep breathing, and yoga, might work for some people, but others might find hitting the speed bag or going for a run to be more effective at reducing stress. Finding out what works best for you. When you are in the moment and relaxed it is much easier to be your calm assertive self. It can help you become more emotionally intelligent in no time.
Take a Pause Before You Judge
Judging others is often a knee-jerk reaction that has become second nature to many of us. However, if you want to increase your emotional intelligence, you need to identify your judgmental thoughts and try to pause before you make a quick judgment. When you take the time to think about it, you may find that you are not upset with the person, but you are dealing with stress in another part of your life.
When I stop and ask myself why is this making me react rather than respond? More often than not it is because the situation is triggering some past trauma. It has nothing to do with the person or the moment in front of me.
Become Aware of How You Feel
Rather than immediately trying to combat negative feelings, take some time to sit with them for a while first. Understanding what it means for you to feel anger, resentment, or anger without an immediate fix can help you address what is causing you to feel those feelings and allows you to find a healthier way to deal with those emotions. Understanding and naming your emotions gives you power. It is possible to feel many emotions at once. You can be angry and happy all at the same time. One example, that comes to mind is when I lost my youngest child who was about 9 at the time and he was meant to be at home doing homework. When I got home the house was empty. After I looked in every corner of the house, I then starting going up and down the streets looking for him and had no idea where he was. Now in a panicked and frantic state, I thought I have to call the police because my son is missing. Soon after the police arrived at my doorstep while taking my statement my son appeared. He was just next door playing with a new friend he made that afternoon. He hadn’t heard me calling out his name up and down the street.
I had 100 emotions all at the same time, embarrassment, happiness, relieved, and anger, are the first few that came to mind. I went backwards and forwards through all the emotions in a very short period of time. This is why sometimes it is difficult to name our emotions and what we are feeling at a particular moment.
Learn to Take Criticism
No one likes to feel as though they are being criticised. However, learning to accept constructive criticism is a significant part of being emotionally intelligent. Helping trusted people give you feedback allows you to see your blind spots but be careful who you take critism from and how it is delivered.
The best technique for giving or receiving criticism is a “shit sandwich”. Start with the positive, put the suggested improvement in and then close it with another positive. This way feedback can be heard and actioned.
When we understand our authentic selves we can choose to adapt and change. We need advisors in our corner to help us learn how to be a better version of ourselves. Learning how, what and who to believe with feedback is a massive step toward increasing your emotional intelligence.
Accept Your Weaknesses
No one is perfect, and that’s alright. However, if you are looking to increase your emotional intelligence, it is imperative that you accept your weakness and learn from them, rather than simply denying that you have them. Learning to accept your shortcomings can significantly improve your emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is an essential aspect of both your personal and professional success. These five methods for increasing your emotional intelligence can significantly improve your life.
Who do we trust? Where do we turn to for advice? What organisations can we look to in times of change?
I was doing some research and came across this article on the Australian Leadership Index. It provides a visual matrix of the social perception of intentions and competence. It started me thinking about the changes in how we seek information in times of crisis.
It was no surprise to me that our emergency services who continue to show up and save our lives are rated highly, and government institutions, are ranking low as they continue to make headlines for all the wrong reasons.
When media is ranked so low for a social license, it starts to make sense to me why more people seek information from our social networks. With once trusted institutions like religious organisations ranked lower than state and local governments, mining and insurance it made me curious as to what other social institutions have had a shift in perception and trust.
According to the Australian Leadership Index, “The warmer and more competent a social institution is perceived, the more it is trusted, seen as having a social licence to operate, and showing leadership for the greater good. This should give Australia’s leaders, especially its political, business and trade union leaders, pause before asking the public to trust their deliberations and assurances of concern for the public interest.”
This article is a short easy read, it did pique my curiosity, and created some insights. The bigger question is, what needs to change for our Australian Leadership?
