Embarrassing I reflect back on when I starting managing staff I was terrible, I was a shit boss.  I had no idea what I was doing.

I know I just wanted people to do what I told them just because I said so.  There was no buying into the vision or understanding their motivations. Even making sure you leave your stuff at the door.

We have all had bosses like it.  I made sure there was enough fear so that staff wouldn’t question my authority.

I thought I had to be more “authoritative” than the person next to me. If  I was in control so people just needed to do as I said. There was no “win-win” it was my way or the highway. I look back now and shudder. I honestly didn’t know there was any other way. All the managers I had worked for up to that point were very results-driven. If you didn’t reach your numbers, you were marched into the office to justify your job. Fear was how you got people to do their job. I had no role models to learn how to lead or how to mentor someone. However, here I am now more than 20 years later, I have learned how to manage in a way that is more authentic to me and it works!

You don’t have to be a shit boss developing emotional intelligence matters.

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is simply put the ability to control your emotions and others in the present moment.  It sounds simple but has a number of key factors.  According to Daniel Goleman,

• Self-awareness.
• Self-regulation.
• Motivation.
• Empathy.
• Social skills.

Why is it important?

Developing emotional intelligence is the one factor that will make you successful in almost every area of your life.  At a professional level is the one factor that sets high-performing leaders above others.  On a personal level, it means your relationships around you will feel more connected.  Allows for improved communication skills and increases your resilience.  It turns out it is one of the most important life skills and increases your chances of success in every area of your life.

I have learned how to coach teams into high performance staff that want to come to work. Wow, they even laugh. They are self-motivated and managed with compassion and outcomes. It is possible to enjoy your job.

Leadership Workshops and the Emotional Intelligence Book all available at Leading Together.