5 Ways to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence

There are countless ways to improve your overall life. However, the chances are high that you’re overlooking one of the major areas: your emotional intelligence. Improving your emotional intelligence can create a significant difference when it comes to your happiness and success. If you’re looking to increase your emotional intelligence, here are 5 ways you try.

Find Stress-Relieving Techniques

One of the easiest ways to improve your emotional intelligence is to determine your sources of stress and find a way to limit them.  Stress-relief measures, like meditation, deep breathing, and yoga, might work for some people, but others might find hitting the speed bag or going for a run to be more effective at reducing stress. Finding out what works best for you.  When you are in the moment and relaxed it is much easier to be your calm assertive self.  It can help you become more emotionally intelligent in no time.

Take a Pause Before You Judge

Judging others is often a knee-jerk reaction that has become second nature to many of us. However, if you want to increase your emotional intelligence, you need to identify your judgmental thoughts and try to pause before you make a quick judgment. When you take the time to think about it, you may find that you are not upset with the person, but you are dealing with stress in another part of your life.

When I stop and ask myself why is this making me react rather than respond? More often than not it is because the situation is triggering some past trauma. It has nothing to do with the person or the moment in front of me.

Become Aware of How You Feel

Rather than immediately trying to combat negative feelings, take some time to sit with them for a while first. Understanding what it means for you to feel anger, resentment, or anger without an immediate fix can help you address what is causing you to feel those feelings and allows you to find a healthier way to deal with those emotions.  Understanding and naming your emotions gives you power.  It is possible to feel many emotions at once.  You can be angry and happy all at the same time.  One example, that comes to mind is when I lost my youngest child who was about 9 at the time and he was meant to be at home doing homework.  When I got home the house was empty.   After I looked in every corner of the house,  I then starting going up and down the streets looking for him and had no idea where he was.  Now in a panicked and frantic state, I thought I have to call the police because my son is missing.  Soon after the police arrived at my doorstep while taking my statement my son appeared.  He was just next door playing with a new friend he made that afternoon.  He hadn’t heard me calling out his name up and down the street.

I had 100 emotions all at the same time, embarrassment, happiness, relieved, and anger, are the first few that came to mind. I went backwards and forwards through all the emotions in a very short period of time.  This is why sometimes it is difficult to name our emotions and what we are feeling at a particular moment.

Learn to Take Criticism

No one likes to feel as though they are being criticised. However, learning to accept constructive criticism is a significant part of being emotionally intelligent. Helping trusted people give you feedback allows you to see your blind spots but be careful who you take critism from and how it is delivered.

The best technique for giving or receiving criticism is a “shit sandwich”. Start with the positive, put the suggested improvement in and then close it with another positive.  This way feedback can be heard and actioned.

When we understand our authentic selves we can choose to adapt and change.  We need advisors in our corner to help us learn how to be a better version of ourselves.  Learning how, what and who to believe with feedback is a massive step toward increasing your emotional intelligence.

Accept Your Weaknesses

No one is perfect, and that’s alright. However, if you are looking to increase your emotional intelligence, it is imperative that you accept your weakness and learn from them, rather than simply denying that you have them. Learning to accept your shortcomings can significantly improve your emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is an essential aspect of both your personal and professional success. These five methods for increasing your emotional intelligence can significantly improve your life.